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Bhai Sahib,

I know what is is like to be ridiculed by your own family and friends for looking and acting so differently from the rest of the crowd. To be honest, no one will encourage you to follow Sikhi, especially those who do not follow the rehat themselves. I'm sure since you've studied up on Sikhi since you were a website designer. You must have also heard the quote, "Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out." If it's respect that you are asking for from your friends and family, you will not receive as a Sikh. You must remember that your self-respect comes from the Guru, since He is your spiritual guider. There was a time in my life when I too doubted whether I should keep my hair. So, one day I brought home a hair straightner, because I'd been planning to trim the ends of my hair. Luckily, my mom made me return the hair straightner, telling me that this type of fashion was not allowed in Sikhism. I've second doubted myself too. I went to an all-white Christian high school where I was the only turbaned Sikh girl in my class. I wanted to be like them, but deep in my heart I knew I could never be one of them, no matter how hard I tried. That same year, I took amrit and became a Singhini. When I went to school, I got some weird looks from my classmates and some wouldn't even speak me anymore. I don't regret the decision that I've made, and let me tell you, you will regret cutting your hair, even if it is a trimmed beard. You need to be all in for the Guru or all out. You must either decide to keep your hair or cut it, and there are no in betweens. I respect your honesty and your frustrations. I understand where you're coming from. Although I may not know you personally, I will request you veer ji, as your Sikh sister to not take this drastic step in your life just because you're afraid what others may think of you. May Waheguru bless your life and help you Sikhi flourish, so that you can reach out to those family and friends that cut their hair and have girlfriends. Whatever you decide to do, I wish the best for you.