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interesting question, actually lots of people experience it. basically we are so emotionally damaged that when we find bani, we want to devour it. However when you devour something it will not be fully digested. remember that. bani is like a lesson- the rest of the day is there to practice it and at night time you bring yourself back in by praying. It is actually great that you feel such a great connection with bani, because you will look forward to your meditation times. but remember "we should slowly chew up food and not fully devour it" also to help your addiction, when you go out in public, and talk to people focus on them 100 %, treat them like god (aka be kind) ! (you will feel good and will gain a good reputation). but when your alone and mind is going crazy (don't think about people, with every breath inhale and exhale waheguru) - and pray about this, tell god to help you through this. describe your situation to god, exactly with all the little details. and do this every single day. you are not crazy, just emotionally damaged, but you can heal and it starts from within.

and one more tip, stop being so judgmental with yourself

hope it helps