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Listen you need to focus on your mental state. Which can only be improved through naam and meditation. Remember all the worldly things are going to pass away, naam is the only thing that is constant. I know easier said than done. But your attitude is not doing you any favours. most of the time the answers to most of your questions lies within you. Just try to clarify your inner state through naam and trust me good things will happen. The key is to remain attached to naam through the good and bad. And this will allow you to act more calmly in situations again easier said than done but surrender to god and try. You will eventually get it god bless you