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By your actions you define yourself. The actions you make can only affect you.

As that you think that your wife is cheating on you. As you can not know god, you can not know another human being. Even if she is your wife. Because she has a history before the 2 of you got married. Only she knows why she is doing it.

In my limited experiance in marriage. When she is settled with who ever she cheats, she will likely divorce you. But each marriage is diffrent. So my experiance becomes useless in your case.

One question comes to mind and I think I speak to most people reading your question.

Why haven't you confronted her and filed for a divorce?

I don't know what happens according to your second question if people lie to themselves and to the guru and the sangat. The only thing I can think of is that you are not true to who you are. And for most people that doesn't matter at all as long as they fill thier physical and mental needs. It doesn't matter till you get a diagnosis like cancer, or your at the end of the line of life and for the next life.

My only suggestion is that you can trust in god for the future.

And I know what you are thinking.

Why should I trust in god when he gave me a wife that doesn't solve problems in my life but add problems and cheats on me?

Here is a couple of videos that answer that question.

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YouTube - How To Trust In the Future

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YouTube - Giving things up to Guru to take care of.

Good luck.