Ask Your Question

Revision history [back]

click to hide/show revision 1
initial version

Sat Nam,

Are you asking about how to approach this with a potential life partner? I think you need to be clear and open about it as you see comfortable, if it is important that you choose to have sex only for procreation. Be open to challenge, too, and don't be afraid to have a discussion. This is a personal choice for every couple, with the feelings of both sides considered.

That being said, I hope you do not limit this aspect of a marriage to simply a means to have children (what if one is not able to have children?), or that loving sex in a committed marriage for purposes of deepening a bond is a "sin" or a "waste of energy." As with every aspect of the marriage, if both partners regard this as a sacred act, it can actually REBUILD your energy levels and elevate BOTH of you. It's a very intense, and amazing experience. In other words, you can experience God through intimacy as you can through anything else you might do, when you are BOTH conscious and honest of your role in the experience. It is nothing to be afraid of, and intimacy takes time to grow on BOTH sides of the relationship--it takes understanding, effort and patience to learn each other. Ideally, it is a very sweet, sacred and private part of the relationship between a married couple.

But, it is a personal choice that is neither "good" or "bad". There are a lot of couples who choose to live the way you have mentioned and get along just fine. It really depends on the two people involved (and, perhaps, the culture they were raised in). Personally, I would not want to restrict myself in this way (or have my spouse restrict theirself in this way) because I feel that it would not be honest of me to deny that part of a marriage, which I know to be fulfilling and beautiful.

Thank you for asking and I hope that you get a wide variety of experiences that will hopefully answer your questions.

P/S: If you weren't referring to yourself, I apologize for using the noun "you" (a little habit of mine)--but I'm sure you get my meaning :)