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Dear Sister,


To some extent, I can relate to your situation and feelings. I think its safe to say that at some point in life, most of us get into a situation or a point in life where we feel like we are "stuck" and can't get out of it! People close to us don't really understand what our "problem" is because they are in their own "happy world" and they don't want to leave it to come into our "sad little world". But that's okay because the "problem" is yours and only you can resolve it. Don't expect others to fix your issues. You need to take "control of your issues. Its not going to be easy. As a matter of fact, its going to be the hardest thing you will have to do but once you take the first few steps, you will realize that you can do it. Its like riding a bicycle. No one, and I mean no one, gets on their bicycle for the first time and starts riding it without falling from it! Right? It takes practice! Just like it takes practice to learn to do paath. I remember when I first stared to do Jaap Sahib. It would take me 1 hours (seriously) to do the Jaap Sahib. The first few times were tough and I would be exhausted by the end. My eyes would feel sleepy and my head would still be reading the paath (Namsten Akaalee, Namstan Diyalee, Namstan Akarnan, Namstan Abhranan.....!!!). But after some practice, I got good at it and now I can do Jaap Sahib in 15 mins!

Life is like that too. It take a lot of effort to bring the positive thinking and positive mindset into your life. Doing your nitname helps a lot. It helped me a lot when I was feeling very negative all the time. I would blame a lot of "bad stuff" in my life on life or my parents or others not realizing that by doing so, I was making myself miserable. One thing that helped me a lot was not reading gurbani but understanding it. When I was in tough situations, I turned to waheguru. I turned to my Guru. I stared to read the daily hukamnamaa and the english/punjabi translations on and it completely changed my way of thinking (this is true, I am not making this up. I don't get any kickbacks from!). Reading the translations made me "understand" what my guru was trying to communicate to me. It was very simple and beautiful. The Guru would tell me:

Tu Kahe Dolee Paraniyaa, Khud Rakhega Sirjanhaar (Oh mortal being, why you worry so much about your present and future? The Guru will take care of it all)

I seriously doubt anything else in the world could have changed my thinking and attitude towards life so dramatically. Maybe that is the reason why I feel in love with the Guru so much. But it all stared with understanding the message of the Guru. A lot of us Indian Sikhs don't really make an effort to understand what the guru is saying. We just want to "read" from the Guru and hope that all will get better because we are doing "naam japna". I personally don't believe that ready only will give you that strength that you need to be a strong daughter of Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj. Understanding the message of the guru will make you a very strong person mentally which will get rid of this negative feeling.

On the matter of relationships and not being able to open up or talk with a lot of people. My suggestion would be that you need to take charge of your life and make the first move. I am not a big believer of "waiting for the right person" concept. To me, that is like telling me to sit in my room and wait for the food to come into my mouth! It's not going to happen. I am going to have to go to my kitchen and cook something for myself and eat it. The Guru will help you get through your journey of life. The Guru helps everyone. But you have to help yourself first. Make the first move. Go out there and make some friends first. Start with your local gurdwara if you have to. But remember, in any and all relationships, you have to give some thing to get something in return. And by that I mean, that your gonna have to give up your negative feelings, your ego, your hesitations, and your best efforts, to get good friendships, sisters, brothers, and maybe even a life partner, in return. But remember, there is no guarantees in life! Yes, the guru is there to help you. Yes, he will pick you up when you are down but no one has seen their future so no one know what tomorrow brings!

Life is a journey. Keep it simple. Enjoy it. Don't let others negative feelings affect your feelings. Be your best self. Be the true daughter of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Be proud, be fearless, be humble, be motivated, be energetic, learn from your mistakes, don't live in the past. Its gone. You are now left with your present and future. Take care of them both. And please, also make sure you take your meds because they are important too. Mind, Body and Soul. We should work to take care of them all. That is what the guru also tells us to do.

Hope this was helpful and remember if you are not sure what to do, just take a hukam from the guru because guru will always steer you in the right direction.

May waheguru bring lots of happiness and joy in your life. May he give you lots of fond memories to remember and give you what you need the most. Whatever it may be...


Your little brother!