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I know how you feel ... What I think the probleme is that you need some time alone to think and meditate ... Go on a trip or just go to the gurdwara every day ... For now bein with people will make you vulnerable so just stay alone till you gain enough confidence to face the world .

And when u say " rough childhood " just forget about it. Remember this " I laugh at my past because I laugh at hate ... Enjoy your current life because life is great "

And if your family don't understand you ... It's okay ! No one understands me and i dont mind lol...Same way u can't understand everyone . And the whole marriage thing , just wait till the perfect so to comes to you ~ your wonderful just the way you are kay ?

And plus your an awesome person . You know what to do and your on the right path ... Continue praying and every thing will be alright :)

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa waheguru Ji ki fateh