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Dear Brother,

It is the kirpa of the true guru that you have developed so much love and devotion for the guru that you feel like every breath taken without the naam is a breath wasted. It is the kirpa of the true guru that you are so close to waheguru and have such a strong feeling of separation that when you are not thinking about the lord, you feel down.

To certain extent, I can relate to this feeling. However, I am not as blessed as you clearly are as I have only felt such strong emotions for the guru for a very short periods of time. These moments have been filled with a feeling of just pure energy and the yearning to met the guru, to be able to see the radiant face of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Je Maharaj. But my feelings have been very short lived.

Its much easier to tell others to recite the name of god if they are not doing so. But it is much more difficult to tell someone in your situation what to do if they feel like they should be reciting naam with every breath!

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji maharaj tells us to remember god 24/7. So, in a way, you are on the right track! However, sometimes we tend to get carried away with our emotions (good or bad ones) and endup in a state of depression because "we are not doing enough for the lord". We want to be the best Sikhs or students we can possibly be and in the pursuit of such perfection, we loose interest in everything else. In a way, this state of mind is also moh (attachment). Note that I am not saying that being close to god is an attachment. I am saying that getting too emotional about your feelings towards the guru is an attachment. To me, the guru does not want his Sikh to be attached to anything. Not to money, kids, wife, parents, siblings, status, job, your own body, mind and even soul. Because guru teaches us that "Ma naahi prubh sub kich teraa" (I am nothing, and everything I have is with your grace).

So I am sure that the guru does not want us to attach our self with any type of emotions that will take us away from our Chardi Kalaa attitude towards life. We are suppose to be Khalsa, the army of god. We are the soldiers of god so we can't get too caught up in emotions that may prevent us from doing our duty which is to serve and protect the creation of our creator. So, keep that chardi kalaa attitude towards life and know that guru is always with you and within you. And if you are serving the creation of the creator, then your breath is not going to waste but its giving life to everything that surrounds you.

If what I wrote above made even a fraction of sense, then I will believe that my time and breath spend writing this post was very well invested! Take care of yourself brother, and always be in chardi kalaa...

WJKK, WJKF