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Look this is what you accpect from a khalsa family your desicions have effected others because of ego and self image even pride they believe they are ruined but you are on a spiritual voyage and will alsways find the guru on your doorstep when you are lost again. sister ji i am 14 and have been through it all enough about me though. you must love your mother and father as the guru says if you dont respect your parents all efoorts in trying to love god are made in vein- i believe the shabad says dont take my quote for sure though it isnt exact (bul chuck maff lahivaand) i understand that you love your parents just promise that youll visit them. i have the perfect shabad for you that guru arjan dev jis mother sang to him when he had to go away when he was a child he never forgott it and then wrote it in our guru true love. the famous **

> poota mata ki asees translates to : Oh child this is your mothers prayer*.....etc..

ask your mother to sing it to you and thus she must let you move on here is the full shabad. it is also important for our parents not to get attached to us after all we belong to the guru and mata sahib kaur ji and god.

gUjrI mhlw 5 ] angs (496-3) goojree mehlaa 5. Goojaree, Fifth Mehl:

ijsu ismrq siB iklivK nwsih ipqrI hoie auDwro ] (496-3, gUjrI, mÚ 5) jis simrat sabh kilvikh naaseh pitree ho-ay uDhaaro. Remembering Him, all sins are erased, and ones generations are saved.

so hir hir qum@ sd hI jwphu jw kw AMqu n pwro ]1] (496-4, gUjrI, mÚ 5) so har har tumH sad hee jaapahu jaa kaa ant na paaro. ||1|| So meditate continually on the Lord, Har, Har; He has no end or limitation. ||1||

pUqw mwqw kI AwsIs ] (496-4, gUjrI, mÚ 5) pootaa maataa kee aasees. O son, this is your mother's hope and prayer,

inmK n ibsrau qum@ kau hir hir sdw Bjhu jgdIs ]1] rhwau ] (496-5, gUjrI, mÚ 5) nimakh na bisara-o tumH ka-o har har sadaa bhajahu jagdees. ||1|| rahaa-o. that you may never forget the Lord, Har, Har, even for an instant. May you ever vibrate upon the Lord of the Universe. ||1||Pause||

siqguru qum@ kau hoie dieAwlw sMqsMig qyrI pRIiq ] (496-5, gUjrI, mÚ 5) satgur tumH ka-o ho-ay da-i-aalaa satsang tayree pareet. May the True Guru be kind to you, and may you love the Society of the Saints.

kwpVu piq prmysru rwKI Bojnu kIrqnu nIiq ]2] (496-6, gUjrI, mÚ 5) kaaparh pat parmaysar raakhee bhojan keertan neet. ||2|| May the preservation of your honor by the Transcendent Lord be your clothes, and may the singing of His Praises be your food. ||2||

AMimRqu pIvhu sdw icru jIvhu hir ismrq And Anµqw ] (496-7, gUjrI, mÚ 5) amrit peevhu sadaa chir jeevhu har simrat anad anantaa. So drink in forever the Ambrosial Nectar; may you live long, and may the meditative remembrance of the Lord give you infinite delight.

rMg qmwsw pUrn Awsw kbih n ibAwpY icMqw ]3] (496-7, gUjrI, mÚ 5) rang tamaasaa pooran aasaa kabeh na bi-aapai chintaa. ||3|| May joy and pleasure be yours; may your hopes be fulfilled, and may you never be troubled by worries. ||3||

Bvru qum@wrw iehu mnu hovau hir crxw hohu kaulw ] (496-8, gUjrI, mÚ 5) bhavar tumHaaraa ih man hova-o har charnaa hohu ka-ulaa. Let this mind of yours be the bumble bee, and let the Lord's feet be the lotus flower.

nwnk dwsu aun sMig lptwieE ijau bUMdih cwiqRku maulw ]4]3]4] (496-8, gUjrI, mÚ 5) naanak daas un sang laptaa-i-o ji-o booNdeh chaatrik ma-ulaa. ||4||3||4|| Says servant Nanak, attach your mind to them, and blossom forth like the song-bird, upon finding the rain-drop. ||4||3||4||

or try the link link text the great shabad on page

ਗੂਜਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥ ਜਿਸ੝ ਸਿਮਰਤ ਸਭਿ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਨਾਸਹਿ ਪਿਤਰੀ ਹੋਇ ਉਧਾਰੋ ॥ ਸੋ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਤ੝ਮ੝ਹ੝ਹ ਸਦ ਹੀ ਜਾਪਹ੝ ਜਾ ਕਾ ਅੰਤ੝ ਨ ਪਾਰੋ ॥੧॥ ਪੂਤਾ ਮਾਤਾ ਕੀ ਆਸੀਸ ॥ ਨਿਮਖ ਨ ਬਿਸਰਉ ਤ੝ਮ੝ਹ੝ਹ ਕਉ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਸਦਾ ਭਜਹ੝ ਜਗਦੀਸ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ ਸਤਿਗ੝ਰ੝ ਤ੝ਮ੝ਹ੝ਹ ਕਉ ਹੋਇ ਦਇਆਲਾ ਸੰਤਸੰਗਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਪ੝ਰੀਤਿ ॥ ਕਾਪੜ੝ ਪਤਿ ਪਰਮੇਸਰ੝ ਰਾਖੀ ਭੋਜਨ੝ ਕੀਰਤਨ੝ ਨੀਤਿ ॥੨॥ ਅੰਮ੝ਰਿਤ੝ ਪੀਵਹ੝ ਸਦਾ ਚਿਰ੝ ਜੀਵਹ੝ ਹਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਤ ਅਨਦ ਅਨੰਤਾ ॥ ਰੰਗ ਤਮਾਸਾ ਪੂਰਨ ਆਸਾ ਕਬਹਿ ਨ ਬਿਆਪੈ ਚਿੰਤਾ ॥੩॥ ਭਵਰ੝ ਤ੝ਮ੝ਹ੝ਹਾਰਾ ਇਹ੝ ਮਨ੝ ਹੋਵਉ ਹਰਿ ਚਰਣਾ ਹੋਹ੝ ਕਉਲਾ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਦਾਸ੝ ਉਨ ਸੰਗਿ ਲਪਟਾਇਓ ਜਿਉ ਬੂੰਦਹਿ ਚਾਤ੝ਰਿਕ੝ ਮਉਲਾ ॥੪॥੩॥੪ or here again. waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji gurbarakal!!