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I have gratefully read your post. Thank you for posting here on this forum. Do you have any daily spiritual practice that makes you feel relaxed, safe and connected? The answer isn't getting away from your parents and doing drugs to dull the anguish you feel. The answer is already inside you. With Guruji's kirpaa you can fix yourself. You must get out of your head. Your thoughts and emotions are running in loops over and over and freaking you out. The only way out is in. Do you have a favorite shabad or bani that relaxes you? You must begin to practice long, deep breathing. First slow your breath to four breaths per minute. One inhale and one exhale over 15 seconds. It becomes easy if you are sitting still with a straight spine or even lying down. Listen to a Gurbani sound current that you love. After you have mastered four breaths per minute you can begin to do two breaths per minute. Inhale for 15 seconds, then exhale for 15 seconds. Close your eyes and open yourself and listen deeply. Let your mind go into the sound current. Thoughts will come. Let them come and let them go, like clouds passing by, but don't get caught by any thought. Just recognize it then let it go. Start doing this practice for seven minutes in the morning and again in the evening. Just do it every day, no matter what. After you are comfortable with it, lengthen the time to 11 minutes in the morning and 11 minutes in the evening. You can extend up to 31 minutes if you wish. After you have done this for a week, please come back to the forum and let us know how you are doing.

I have gratefully read your post. Thank you for posting here on this forum. I understand what you are experiencing. You explained it very well.

Do you have any daily spiritual practice that makes you feel relaxed, safe and connected? The answer isn't getting away from your parents and doing drugs to dull the anguish you feel. The answer is already inside you. With Guruji's kirpaa you can fix yourself. You must get out of your head. Your thoughts and emotions are running in loops over and over and freaking you out. The only way out is in. Do you have a favorite shabad or bani that relaxes you? You must begin to practice long, deep breathing. First slow your breath to four breaths per minute. One inhale and one exhale over 15 seconds. It becomes easy if you are sitting still with a straight spine or even lying down. Listen to a Gurbani sound current that you love. After you have mastered four breaths per minute you can begin to do two breaths per minute. Inhale for 15 seconds, then exhale for 15 seconds. Close your eyes and open yourself and listen deeply. Let your mind go into the sound current. Thoughts will come. Let them come and let them go, like clouds passing by, but don't get caught by any thought. Just recognize it then let it go. Start doing this practice for seven minutes in the morning and again in the evening. Just do it every day, no matter what. After you are comfortable with it, lengthen the time to 11 minutes in the morning and 11 minutes in the evening. You can extend up to 31 minutes if you wish. After you have done this for a week, please come back to the forum and let us know how you are doing.