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When you get married, the karmas merge. In the marriage the karmas are churned. As Strong Kaur mentioned, this is ultimately between the two of you. If there is no communication, you cannot move forwards. When emotions run high, if you chant or do simran with your wife, and then sit and listen to each other without reacting to each other, communication can begin.

None of that will work if you are drinking alcohol. It requires some calmness and clarity. Alcohol traps you in your emotions.

That said, if you need help, ask for it locally. Our responses here may point you in the right direction, but you must actively get help on a personal level directly. There is no shame in asking for help. The shame lies in avoidance.