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Thanks for sharing. Feeling lost certainly does feel horrible. I don’t know much about your problem if you feel comfortable sharing what is going on with the families perhaps there is some problem solving to be done, some communication issue to resolve, etc. It is hard to provide some advice without knowing much about what you are facing. It sounds like there has been a lot of difficulty for her personally and then between the families. Is it possible for you two just to be on the same team and focus on yourselves rather than the families right now. To prioritize each other’s relationships. Have you thought about some personal counselling to be able to sort through some of this? Particularly if you drink a lot, this is damaging to you and to the home environment and needs to be addressed. I understand this is because of the stress you are facing. Have you thought about speaking to your doctor about the drinking? They often have resources for that. Gurbani teaches us many ways of coping with life’s stressors. Perhaps take a hukamnama from Sikhnet online and see what Guru Ji tells you. We are capable of handling more than what it feels like we can handle, but at the same time its important to recognize when to reach out and I can see that you are reaching out to the sangat here. That’s the limited advice I have based off what you have written. You'll get through this, i know it feels like you are stuck but you will move past this stage too.