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My dear friend, I am sorry to hear of your situation. I think this is a toxic home environment. Is it possible for you to go? To live with some family far away? To move out and live on your own? To make some excuse to get a college education elsewhere? To go visit someone and then just stay there? To continue to live in a house where you are abused is going to damage you and your brother’s mental health. How old is your brother? I think you need to get him some help too by mentioning his situation as well to whoever you go to for help.

I can understand that perhaps it may even be dangerous or not a possibility for you to leave yet. There are still options. I would suggest a few things. #1. Go to a doctor. Doctors have many resources. You can make any excuse to go see one, but I am worried about your mental health. They can connect you with a counsellor and social worker who can help you. The social worker can help you find a place to live. The Dr can also help to monitor and teach skills on how to care for your mental health. By law, they are not allowed to tell your parents what you said. You definitely sound like you have depression so going to a dr. is a good step. 2. Call a helpline. For yourself call http://www.thehotline.org/about-us/contact/ If your brother is under 18 call https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/. #3. Going to the police is always an option as well as they can also connect you with resources. I think that many people are nervous about this but the police provides options to protect you. Please consider this. I’m especially worried about your dad’s behaviour as an alcoholic. #4. Use the support of Gurbani. You’re right your parents are totally hypocritical and aren’t following Sikhi at all. I want you to start to understand Gurbani. It can really be a big support. Stand and listen to this ardas, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBLh8OEFfkQ. and then take a hukamnama here: https://www.sikhnet.com/hukam/personal understand what is being written and each day read one page of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji online. I think this will really help you to get some support. It will offer your mind support. I like to also read history of brave Kaurs http://www.sikhanswers.com/sikh-history-personalities/name-some-famous-women-in-sikh-history/ http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Category:FamousSikhWomen Try to do something for your body and mind in terms of exercise. If you are stuck at home, then try learning yoga in your bedroom. Ideally you would go out and do something that helps you meet people but I know that might not be possible for you right now. hopefully you can enrol in a class at some point.

Your mom sounds like she is quite hurt and broken from the abuse she herself has faced and taking that out on you. You’re not responsible for fixing her problems. What is happening to you is not your fault. Your parents are neglecting you by not loving you or talking to you. They are being emotionally abusive. They are isolating you. This is their behaviours. But you my friend, are a child of God. These people are not your real family but rather God is your family. You were made a Princess, a Kaur and a warrior. You’re a good student. You are a jewel put on this earth. You should not agree to any marriage at this age. You have a right to say no. Even if its at the actual Gurdwara on the day of your wedding. No one can force you. Having seen the effects of alcoholism in my own extended family, I’m never marrying anyone who drinks either. I think you are right to think carefully about wanting to marry someone who respects you. You deserve that. You can always talk to us here. We are part of your community, even if its online, and we are here for you. You can also say that you have to do some sort of volunteer work as a part of your schooling and make up a reason why you need to be out of the house. For that reason, you can start to go meet some people and have some interaction. Your parents aren’t allowed to keep you locked up like that. It really concerns me. I think that seeing the doctor might also be another good reason to go see someone regularly and have someone safe to talk to.