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I wanted to offer you support although I do not know exactly how to solve your problem. I think it is really amazing that you have decided to wear a dastaar. I think you are of an age that you are able to make that decision for yourself. But its also important to respect that your parents are basing their opinion based on their own life experiences so they probably really do feel like they are protecting you from a bad future. I think that’s important to recognize as well. I 100% agree with you that there’s no point in waiting until after you are married to get your inlaws permission to do so. I think that in fact puts you as inferior to your in laws, waiting until they approve. As a kaur myself, I would not want such in laws that I have to ask them how to live my life and I don’t think we should allow anyone to control someone else’s path in such a way. It may in fact be harder for you to find a family, but I don’t think this is a bad thing. I think rather it will be clear in which family you will be accepted for who you are. Your marriage is how your marriage wants to be. There are lots of pics of Gursikh marriages online for inspiration. Maybe show your parents examples of couples who have had these weddings (better yet if you know such a couple). Maybe they’ve never seen it or don’t know of many girls wearing dastaars etc. I think you can just start wearing a dastar when you like and let them know that you are being respectful of their view however this is your path to walk. They might see its not as drastic as they expected. Maybe over time they will just accept it.