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WJKK WJKF. I understand what you're going through. What you should do now is,give yourself to Waheguru. Meaning to say,forget your ego/world/society and focus on God. Go to Gurdwara.Meditate at Gurdwara or maybe before going to bed,listen to keertan/kirtan. Being close to Guru will help you to forget the pain you have. I hope this helped you Ji.