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Think of the movie Dil Chahta Hai.

How Akshay Khanna shows the sand leaving the gaps of the fingers, you can't do anything. The only thing you can do, is brush off the sand that is still clinging to you. It is all... in your hands.

ਕਉਣੁ ਸੁ ਸੁਖੀਆ ਕਉਣੁ ਸੁ ਦੁਖੀਆ ॥ Who is happy, and who is sad?

ਕਉਣੁ ਸੁ ਸਨਮੁਖੁ ਕਉਣੁ ਵੇਮੁਖੀਆ ॥ Who, as sunmukh, turns toward the Guru, and who, as vaymukh, turns away from the Guru?

ਕਿਨਿ ਬਿਧਿ ਮਿਲੀਐ ਕਿਨਿ ਬਿਧਿ ਬਿਛੁਰੈ ਇਹ ਬਿਧਿ ਕਉਣੁ ਪ੍ਰਗਟਾਏ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥ How can one meet the Lord? How is one separated from Him? Who can reveal the way to me?

Guru Sahib later replies...

ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸੁਖੀਆ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਦੁਖੀਆ ॥ The Gurmukh is happy, while the self-willed manmukh is sad.

ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਨਮੁਖੁ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਵੇਮੁਖੀਆ ॥ The Gurmukh turns toward the Guru, and the self-willed manmukh turns away from the Guru.

ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲੀਐ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਵਿਛੁਰੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਬਿਧਿ ਪ੍ਰਗਟਾਏ ਜੀਉ ॥੭॥ The Gurmukh is united with the Lord, while the manmukh is separated from Him. The Gurmukh reveals the way.