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You can just say that you are sorry to hear about her friend and that by rule you don't add people that you don't know. Firstly, you dont have to add her to be able to chat on messenger. Second, you are right that you dont know if her story is true or if she is who she says she is. But even if it is, then it's not really going to help her pain by you, a stranger, adding her and talking to her now. You can't replace her loss. If she is Sikh, perhaps point her to a resource like Sikhnet for more support.