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Every positive thought has an equal and opposite negative thought. That's how the negative and positive minds work. Negative thoughts are not "bad." They are just thoughts. I mean, gosh, you have 10,000 thoughts every second! Only a few come into your conscious attention. The only way to balance yourself is to meditate. When you have the habit to meditate every day, you stimulate and strengthen your neutral mind. The neutral mind is not positive or negative. It watches both positive and negative thoughts and it integrates them so that you can go beyond the polarities. Don't feel guilty. There is nothing to forgive. What you are experiencing is a natural human process. It is time to work on yourself to develop your neutral mind so that you are not swayed or upset by the constant flow of opposites in your thoughts.