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I am so sorry to hear about the death of your wife. It is especially difficult to watch someone go through an illness like cancer. I am not the best at handling grief, or an expert by any means but I will share with you what I can. When it comes to grief, there is no real timetable for healing. The feelings may come in cycles. It is understandable that you are still devastated. You are adjusting to now suddenly being a single parent. I am wondering if you can find someone to talk to- a friend, a counselor, a doctor. Particularly doctors sometimes have resources to help people who are grieving. It is okay that you need help right now. I can understand you are used to providing for yourself and not having to depend on other people. In hard times we all need support. Do you have someone like a sibling, or other relatives that can live with you for a while to help you out? If it is possible, it might be nice to have someone make the daily tasks like cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children a little easier. If not, just take it one day at a time and do your best. It is hard when you are getting criticized from people. You are doing your best and that’s all that matters. You need to care for yourself too.
It sounds like you are also carrying the burden of your wife’s death on your shoulders- you wrote “I feel so guilty that I could do nothing to save her.” This wasn’t your fault. You both did the best you could, but it was her time to go and no one can change that. Only God decides that, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change when it is someone’s time to go. We all have a limited time in this human life-form, but it is just a costume for our souls. I really cannot answer your questions of faith, that is between you and Waheguru. Please continue to work on that and continue to go to the Gurdwara as you have. I am sorry I am not able to provide you with more comfort than that.