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As i was reading this post and responses, the one thing that kept going through my mind is why is sibling abuse never addressed? I'm a clinical psychotherapist and trust me, we learn about partner abuse, abuse from parents and so forth. However, there is hardly any literature or research on the topic, or support networks for victims of sibling abuse.

Having said that, I can relate to what you are experiencing to some extent. My situation is a little more complex as I have a daughter aged 8, and my sister often makes me feel like I am a bad mother. I have also been copping emotional and verbal abuse from my sister that has left me both physically and mentally drained.

However what Singh2000 said in his comment was pretty spot on. I noticed that within the relationship between me and my sister, she appears a lot more stronger, dominant and powerful, as she is better at presenting herself and has better control of her emotions.

Now my sister is actually a wonderful person, we are both amritdhari and she has a lot of love for Guru Maharaj. Which my whole family can see. Me, on the other hand, I don't openly show my love for Guru and also am not very strong emotionally, to be frank my emotions are my biggest weakness. I know I have good leadership skills, but I do not fully embrace those skills, as my own lack of self-esteem and unstable emotions create obstacles for me.

I'm also the kind of person whose self-esteem depends on the opinions of the people I love. If my close family and friends mistreat me, then I often will have lower self-esteem. If they treat me with respect and love, I will naturally feel better about myself. This has been creating all kinds of problems in my life.

What I have learnt through all of this, is that this current challenge that I am going through with my sister, is there to help shape my own character. It will enable me to learn to love and forgive people who hurt me. You can learn to tolerate abuse and find peace through Bani instead. And more importantly, the pain we experience when we go through experiences like these, helps us understand other peoples suffering more. We become more compassionate and merciful to those who are truly suffering. Guru Maharaj will use us to be of support and healing to people, because we will have a better understanding of the human condition because of what we have experienced ourselves.

My advice to you would be to have a goal, or many goals, try and follow all of the steps outlined by Singh2000, and also get yourself involved in some kind of a project that you are passionate about. Immerse yourself into your work, in fact try and see the work/projects that you do as a seva given to you by our father Guru Gobind Singh Ji and pour your heart and soul into it.

Over time things will get better. I'm still in my storm as well with my sister, however I have a goal and know that this situation is just temporary.

In the meantime, I am trying to give her love regardless of what she says or does. I know this is not easy as the pain they cause makes you feel very angry, frustrated, sad, low and worthless. But try and think of our Gurus and sahibzaadey and the shaheed singhs and singhnias. They copped so much physical and mental abuse, yet they were so strong, it never affected them. Why? Because their love and faith in Guru was just too strong.

So lets do Ardaas to our Father Dhan Guru Nanak, and ask him to bless us with reciting his name, with a fearless heart and unshakable faith in Guru. Lets pray they Guru Blesses us with mental, physical and spiritual strength. Lets pray for our siblings who's words and actions are hurtful and ask Guru that he help them by giving them understanding that their behaviour is wrong and needs to stop.

Take Care,

Never Forget that Guru Loves You xx