Lo K. B.'s profile - activity

This might be a pointless question, but I was curious to see what showering times works the best for certain people, energy-wise. I know that showering in the morning wakes one up, but how about the night before or both? And about warm water...does it make one too lazy to wake up early in the morning? Is there a scientific or psychological reason? I'm trying to improve my life a bit so it'd be interesting to hear about some benefits of early morning showering! (although living right on the ocean's edge makes it a little hard to think about cold water that early..brrr!)

Sat Nam,

Such great answers from these other girls! You are not alone! You know, getting implants may solve one thing, but it doesn't solve the inner problem, which is how you feel about yourself. I think this inner reservation about your body is caused by what we're surrounded by in the media, and what we see--other girls who believe that having larger breasts and derriere (backside) will make them more attractive. And when girls look at themselves in the mirror, they start to doubt their bodies and feel ugly. It's accursed! But what's the reality? The reality is that bodies are created in so many beautiful shapes, and, if you take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, that you will live at your truest form. Are you doing that? Don't get caught up in the public perception of beauty. It's an idealized form of beauty that most often does not exist.

I study Psychology, and we did a long analysis on the science of attraction, a comprehensive one across cultures. It turns out that, when looked at as a whole, men are attracted to an entire variety of body shapes. Just as sexuality is individual to everybody, so is attraction. If you trust Waheguru ji to bring your best match, that person will be chemically and biologically created to admire YOU, just as YOU ARE. How AWESOME is that! Some men find larger breasts unappealing. If you changed yourself, it might backfire. But, in the end it's up to you on what you want to do. But know that you are beautiful. Play up to your assets, dress to the shape of your body, and know that you are not defined by a culture's fantasy about women.

If it helps, as an artist, I can say we adore different body shapes. Where do you think the age old phrases "with a gate as graceful as a swan's," "soft and subtle curves," "the long, lithe body of a dancer" come from?! There is beauty found in every type of curve, and a woman who can appreciate and love her own is the epitome of grace. And that, you surely are!

God bless you, beautiful. ;)

Sat Nam,

Personally, I have never heard of anybody doing this or being allowed to do this. Frankly, I'd believe that the coroner or hospital would take care of that. All I can say about the "dangers" of doing that is that the spirit might attach itself to the body, and subsequently the home, but, honestly, there shouldn't be a fear of that. If there is, chant Akal periodically and trust that Waheguru will keep any malevolence away from the home.

God bless you and I hope that somebody with knowledge of this belief system will respond, as I have never heard of this occurring.

Sat Nam,

Be kind, but don't allow yourself to be stepped on. People have the penchant to believe that if people are being kind, they have some sort of ulterior motive. You know in your heart you aren't trying to trick anybody. If it's a certain group of people, quietly let them know that you do not appreciate their harassment towards you. It's funny that, if you maintain your composure and don't lose your cool, they automatically stop and realize your true intentions. Then no fight ensues, and everyone returns to normal. Honestly, if you can, avoid them or distance yourself from them for a while. They're acting out of some source of confusion, which isn't your problem.

Be happy and know that you have a right to be happy, like everybody else, and stay composed. God bless you.

Sat Nam,

Take the medication. If you truly have ADHD, it becomes significantly harder to concentrate, and you are at a severe disadvantage if you allow it to continue without proper treatment. "Cheating life" would be more like you taking ADHD medication not prescribed to you from another student just to try to get ahead. It seems to be a trending thing nowadays. Since that isn't the case, go and take care of yourself.

God bless you.

@meet: the quote sounding critical is a matter of opinion. You have to get past the "tone" and actually understand what it is saying. It's difficult to transcribe quotes in writing, because you don't get the advantage of tone, body language and other subtle cues. But, it's a good skill to learn.

Sat Nam,

I think what is meant in that video is that when a human is born, they have all that they need to reach their own enlightenment, already encoded and built in within them. The soul learns from every incarnation, and that knowledge, or gyan, remains with it and is present in your current incarnation. Yes, gyan is infinite, but that's not what is being discussed. I think everybody has some intuitive understanding of how the universe works (some more than others at a point in time), but every soul has access to all the gyan that has been imparted to creation since the beginning of time. More is always being imparted, because creation is always changing, and present; souls are in a constant state of learning. Quite honestly, there is no need to know everything, or to think that in order to be liberated that you must know everything. That's not the point (and is impossible). You will know what you need to know, when you need to know it. And, when the time comes, you will also know how to use it. It's different for everybody. Really think about what infinity means. NEVER ending, EVER expanding, UNENDING forms, etc. So, the gyan that exists up until now, is already within us, and we're always absorbing more. The next generation will have even more, and more, and more onwards. Great is the Universe.

Watch the video again and you'll get it.

Actually, I'll give an example. Everybody intrinsically knows how to do something, such as draw, dance, put parts of a machine together, or cook, etc. Somewhere at some time in some incarnation, the soul learned the fundamental concepts behind these things and made it a part of itself. Whenever that happens, it becomes knowledge that it doesn't have to keep relearning over and over again, but can apply to different physical manifestations. That conceptual knowledge is gyan. The amazing thing is, gyan is learned constantly, from everything. The Universe teaches that way. And, since everything is One, each soul has access to all the gyan that exists (so far, until it learns even more). It's just that we're not always consciously aware of all of it. But it's there!

God bless you.

Sat Nam,

Kuherets are things that people with a certain depth of consciousness naturally do not want to do. They aren't exactly "rules". Guilt is a self-created emotion that really should be used to better oneself and attempt to fix mistakes and learn how to be a person that won't be tempted to do it again. Unfortunately, a lot of people just use it as a self-punishing mechanism and continue to experience worthless pain over it. Remember, if you commit a kuheret for whatever reason, all the Guru wants is for you to recognize your mistake. No one is punishing you except yourself! He already forgives you. The important thing is that it wakes you up to reality and you learn a lesson from the pain of it. And hopefully, that person never does it again.

I hope this helps and it's just a matter of trying your best. God bless you.

Sat Nam,

I agree with the previous answer. Something is telling you that divorce is not a good option right now, and that you have to work this out. I believe you still love your husband, and after three children, it would only bring pain if you were to divorce. I would give it time and see if your husband has truly stopped seeing this other woman. Then make your decision. But the fact that you are hesitant means that you should put this divorce on hold until you see what happens down the road. Also, I've heard that doing the Sopurakh part of Rehras Sahib for your husband has incredible effects. I am glad that you are becoming a stronger woman in your own Self, rather than leaning your entire existence on a man.

God bless you and may you have happiness.

Sat Nam,

I think we've been at this kind of question many times.

1. Anything that contains chemicals can technically be called a drug. Even plants have chemicals. BUT, the point of not taking drugs is to not abuse drugs. When you take crack cocaine, you are ingesting a chemical that alters your consciousness and destroys your brain cells, for some two-minute high that will never last and will leave you addicted. When you take prescription medicine for diabetes, you are regulating a dysfunction in the body so you will not die, or develop severe complications. One drug takes a life for stupidity, while the other is needed in some cases to live. If it bothers you that much, look into alternative (natural) medicine.

2. Alcohol exists in food, too. Alcohol is in ketchup. The only difference between eating your fries with ketchup and taking six drinks of wine is the measured content. A microscopic amount of alcohol is not going to do anything to you, whereas 30 oz. of wine will overpower your liver's ability to metabolize alcohol, and damage your brain. The body produces alcohol naturally, too. The alcohol in perfume evaporates as soon as it's out of the container. This is an intuitive thing, and is very common-sensical. Don't get too stuck up on the "what-ifs" in your mind.

God bless you.

Sat Nam,

There is nothing wrong with designed clothes. People who live simply, live without all that complexity and contraptions other people live in. They don't need to pile things upon things on themselves to hide their insecurity. People who are secure in themselves generally do not have to stand in front of a mirror and anguish over their eyeliner or make up, or feel that they are inadequate without it.

It's not a good idea to make such absolute marks about people's honesty in relation to what they wear. It would be far-fetched to say that someone who wears jewelry is somehow more dishonest than someone who wears solid neutral colors. No one is separate, except in human terms, maybe. A king and a pauper are equal in God's eyes.

When you dress, do it gracefully. Dress however you want, if it makes you feel good. Symmetry is pleasing to the eye, as are matching and "framing" colors (like black and white with jewel tones). It's a personal choice.

God bless you.

Sat Nam jio,

I'm impressed by how you articulated your situation, and rest assured that you are not alone. Your parents are afraid, and caught up in the trends of the time. It's not even really a religious reason why they are saying you should cut your hair. Do you have cousins who keep their hair? How do your parents view their family? I've noticed in the families of some aunts and uncles of mine that there is a certain misconception about people who live as Amritdhari (i.e. too strict, too rigid, don't get the same job opportunities, etc). Some people are just uncomfortable and with these misconceptions in their head...it makes it hard. Maybe your parents are, too.

They are mistaken, but they have their reasons. But you have to decide what you want to do. Obviously it is starting to hurt you to cut your hair, and you really want to keep it. Well, why not keep it? There is no legal way your parents could drag you down to the barber and shave it off. You might get a lot of flack from them at first (like, "You don't look good anymore" or "what do you think people will say?"), but after a while they will relent.

Show them the positive side to your transformation. Show them your maturity, your nobility, the growth in your character. They're afraid you won't look presentable? Hell, show them that your turban and beard are like a uniform for your grace. I have a cousin who is a music producer who wears his hair uncut, and it makes him so much more mature beyond his years. It really makes him approachable. It would be great if you would let your hair do that for you.

Guru ji understands what's happening. Never feel that your mistakes keep you away from Him. You know, His arms are always open, but sometimes we trick ourselves into running in the opposite direction because of our feelings of guilt and shame. No matter what, a Father will always accept His Child, no matter what that Child does. Go to your Guru, and He will show you the way.

God bless you, my dear, and try to keep your hairs. Try to anticipate what they might say, and hold onto courage as you tell them what you wish to do with your own body. They will understand, and in time will come to accept your decision as they love you as their son.

Sat Nam,

Well, it could be anything, but do you feel numbness? That might be because you are losing circulation in your leg. To remedy that, try to adjust your sitting posture. And make sure that your spine is straight and that you are breathing normally (or if you are doing a specific breathing meditation, that you are doing it correctly.)

I have a feeling you might believe that this is something spiritual that is occurring. If it is, only you can know for sure.

God bless you.

Sat Nam,

Honestly, I would say, just leave. Because you work and have a means of supporting yourself (and I assume that your husband works as well), you should be well off to get your own place. It makes it harder because of the family dynamic, and conflicting desires and needs of each "family". Has your husband expressed to his mother and father about why it would be better off if you all had homes of your own? I think it's important that their sons talk to them about this. But all of you should be firm about your stance while still respecting your family. It seems as though your in-laws are not used to or comfortable yet with the idea of their children leading their own lives. This is true especially if they lived with your father-in-law's parents.

But, it's important that you as a couple take charge of your own lives and live independently. Let them know that living in separate homes is not "splitting" anything up, but just spreading out the family to make everyone more comfortable.

God bless you and I wish you luck that you will have a happy transition into a home you can start to build and call your own.

Sat Nam,

Good previous answer. I do want to add that it is nonsense that you and your husband would not have a sexual/marital relationship if he decides to become an Amritdhari and you do not. That would be unfair (and nonsensical) discrimination towards you. Do not feel pressured into doing anything you do not feel ready for, and trust yourself with this process.

Rab rakha.

Sat Nam ji,

Waheguru ji is listening, don't worry. But are you listening? Without context, I can't comment on what you can do, but keep doing your ardas. Sometimes the help comes in the form of a karma being paid off. Give your worry and fear over to the Guru, and continue to pray for your brother's well-being. We will, too.

God bless your family with peace and love.

Sat Nam,

Let's just say that whenever Y.B. says "insanity" or "insane" it's synonymous with "crazy" or "out of control". If you just sit there all cramped up and hunched over, you will start to feel desperate, and think you're going crazy because the mind will just shoot random thoughts at you. When you stretch, it feels like sweet, cold water is being poured throughout your body and your focus returns.

You seem to ask this question a lot. Surely you must've had this experience, where you can't stop thinking and can't concentrate on what you are doing!

God bless you.

Sat Nam,

Please provide more context for your questions. It's very hard to answer them when only one line is provided.

A very basic answer could be, if you try to dominate and control someone's life, they will become dependent on you in an unhealthy way, and if they fall, you'll be held responsible in their eyes. (The ego creates this karma) That's a sort of karma you REALLY don't want. Best to just set an example and have no expectation as to whether they will follow it or not. That ensures that you understand that the other person is your equal, with a brain, heart, soul and emotions just like you, and that they can make their own choices.

I hope this helps, but make sure you provide context and do not paraphrase what someone says. It's misleading. God bless you.

Sat Nam,

I would say no. But I also would say, save that lovin' for after marriage. Not only is it a better (and safer!) idea (because it could go too far at any point), but it makes that first kiss and first touch between a married couple that much more sacred, special...and fun. :)

God bless you and blessings to you both for your impending marriage!

Sat Nam,

I hope you get a lot of opinions and advice. Here's what I would do.

The point of not cheating on your significant other is that cheating is a slap in the face to the commitment. It makes the spouse feel cheap, and insults God's gift of love. That's one of the reasons why adultery is so horrible. It damages trust, which is the foundation of any relationship. It's like telling Guru, "The man/woman you gifted to me isn't worth it." Your friend should not feel guilty because of the video, but he has to acknowledge what he has done as WRONG, and learn from it. So, instead of feeling bad, he has to improve himself, and take steps to prevent that from ever happening again. He feels horrible because he finally realizes the consequences of his actions. Tell him to seek forgiveness from his wife, but that he should not expect it. Tell him that he has to work on himself first, and that he has to understand what he has done. When a woman knows a man is desiring to take responsibility for his mistakes, trust begins to form again. But for now, he shouldn't even worry about whether or not that will occur. He needs to begin to take on the role of a responsible fiance and soon-to-be husband and get his act together before he commits to a woman for the rest of his life. No woman wants someone who will make a promise, and then go out and do it all over again.

I hope this helps and that your friend is able to prove to himself and his fiance that he can be a faithful and noble husband. God bless you all.

Sat Nam,

It seems like generations of women have been discouraged from doing kirtan there. I once heard something similar about Ishnaan seva at Sri Harimandir Sahib. Women who tried to wash the floors were told that they could not. Guru bans no one, and why people have created a norm that divides "duties" for men and women is ridiculous. Jas15283 is right: we merely argue, debate, but never really get out there and stand up for the collective right.

A Singhni wrote a poem and did a series of paintings depicting women doing Ishnaan seva, which was well-received. I wonder if anyone else has thought of encouraging women to do kirtan or doing something similar to promote social equality in that realm. Hmm...