Tryingtobasikh's profile - activity

most welcome!

You're welcome :) Also, you need to have motivation to change, so whenever you're about to do the wrong thing, just know that guru ji will be watching and act accordingly to how guru ji will want you to act. Learn a few lines of gurbani and remember them when you're doing the wrong thing.

- but when someone asks if you want to go to the pub or anything like that, you will say yes. Thus, sleeping off the good things and being ever ready for bad stuff. Understand what gurbani is trying to say and follow it. Naam japo (follow guru's teachings), vand shako, kirat karo.

Well, each line in gurbani is for us to understand. For example, when you read "Bure kaam ko uth khaloya, naam ke bela pe pe soya"; meaning for we get up so early to do bad things but sleep off anything good. Hence, if someone tells you to study and volunteer, you will say you don't have time -

The question is...do you want to change yourself? If yes, the just listen to gurbani, read gurbani and implement it. I suggest listening to Sarbjit Singh Dhunda to motivation, he explains stuff well :) Waheguru ji mehr karn.

Waheguru jio, I suggest just asking the stores person and tell them to give you standard size length. I think they're usually all around the same length. However, perhaps someone else might be a better help to you :)

no you cannot.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

Let me start off by saying that "40 days of so purakh" isn't going to help. Baani isn't for repetition but to be put into practice, they're orders and lessons from our guru jis. Second of all, prayers always answered but the time and in what way, is only upto god. If god takes care of those living in stones, ocean, trees, then will he not care for your beautiful soul? You're going through a tough time, and that's okay, we all do, some more and some less. Just image what our guru ji's went through. They loved god a lot and had a lot of knowledge, then why did they suffer? Couldn't they just repeat naam 1000 times a day and end their suffering? Well, instead, they chose to adore what god did and try to battle things out. Have you tried talking to your mother about how this is making you suffer? or even a grandparent? Parents usually agree with grandparents and their wisdom. Look for solutions, and accept that god is teaching the family a lesson. Oh, and why don't you try putting shabad on every morning and then ask one of your parent about the meaning. This might make them realise somethings that they might be doing wrong i.e "ghat ghat andar har ju basai (god abides in everyone)", "mith bolda ji, har sajaan swami mora (my beloved talks so very sweetly)". After they answer that, ask them "Mom/dad also has god in them, so why do you not speak sweetly to them? Aren't your their beloved as well?" Bhul chuk muaf karni.

You don't have to be worried about her peace, she's with god. Nothing beats that peace. Just accept this as will of god. Guru Gobind Singh ji had his whole family taken.

Waheguru jio,

Read this shabad https://www.sikhitothemax.org/shabad?... , and take it in. Just know that you may make thousands of mistakes and if ask for forgiveness with the condition of wanting to change, then god will forgive you. Do as it says in Guru Granth Sahib ji, and it'll all make sense. If there weren't sinful people like us, then who would call god the forgiver? :) It's okay to make mistakes, just be ready to change for the better. Waheguru ji mehr karn. Bhul chuk muaf.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

"Jamna marna hukam hai" - This is all the will of god, and i'm glad that you still want to feel connected to your wife after she's gone. I am no one to tell you about what to do or not, as this is completely your decision (regarding another marriage). However, with your question, I personally believe that after death, we go back to god (pawane mein pawan samaaya, joti mein jot ral jaaya, maati maati hoyi ek). Thus, if you continue to believe in god and know that god is everywhere, then, it's possible to stay connected to your wife as she's basically returned back to god. We're all unsure about what happens after death, so I cannot be sure, but with faith and love, everything is possible. Hence, believe in what you wish but make decisions having your life in mind too :) Bhul Chuk Muaf Karni ji, Waheguru ji bhala karn.

No need for a thanks ji. I'm glad that this was any help to you :) A happy married life in the future, god bless you!

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

Agreed with Guruka Singh, but also want to ad something. Aren't we all humans and children of the same god. Then, as a sikh, you shouldn't be creating boundaries. Rather, accept her and live your personal married life to the full extent. Guru Nanak Dev ji told us to not believe in superstition and or see anyone lower than us, which you will do if you see her any different to you and maintain distance only because she's hasn't had her amrit. Aval allah noor upai kudrat ke sab bande. Bhul Chuk Muaf karni.

Waheguru jio,

First of all, guru ji told us to do path (meaning living in god's hukam) every moment of our lives and so any time that we remember god, is amrit vela. So don't push yourself if you cant get up at 4-5 am due to life situations. Also, in sikhi there's no "you can only do some paths at one specific time". Do whatever path at whatever time you wish, there's no superstition. Chandi di vaar is not from guru granth sahib ji, but, if you still wish to read it then as you wish. :) bhul chuk muaf karni.

Waheguru Jio,

All I know from your passage is that he's a great guy and mature too. Your family also seems to like him and so do you (you're just scared that you'll get hurt or he's not your future husband). The thing is, you can't know for sure if he's your future husband, and so the best way is talk to your family about it. If you're at the age where you'll soon get married, then talk to them about it. They will give you the best advice. God's will is that whatever you sow is what you will reap. So sow the seeds of talking to him and your parents, thus, getting the answer as a result. It will be fine. God cares for everyone and whatever happens is also according to his will (to make you whoever you are today). Don't waste this opportunity and go for whatever feels right. Waheguru ji mehr karn :) Bhul chuk muaf.

Here, I found a shabad by Guru Amar Das ji, perhaps its your personal hukam by guru ji: https://www.sikhitothemax.org/shabad?id=3773&q=jasb&type=1&source=G&highlight=45252 click on the link to view the shabad.

Waheguru jio,

Firstly, may god bless the soul of your loved one. Secondly, in Guru Granth Sahib ji, it is said that death is inevitable, hence, will come to all (jo upjao so binas hai - whatever blooms, shall also wither (die)). The time of death, is only known to god as he knows everything. We can only make smart choices in life to live to the best of extent. Some live a very long life and some don't, its all god's hukam (will). However, as guru ji tells us, we need to make whatever time we have on earth in remembrance of god, to thank him and to do good deeds (kar bande tu bandage jichar tak main saah - worship god until your last breath).

Even Guru Gobind Singh ji didn't alter their son's death, so how can we sinners do anything about it. We can follow guru's words and live a good life though :) Hope this helped. Bhul Chuk muaf karni.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

The definition of anxiety: Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried. While stress and anxious feelings are a common response to a situation where we feel under pressure, they usually pass once the stressful situation has passed, or ‘stressor’ is removed. (Beyondblue, 2018)

First of all, no, it is not your imagination. If you feel a certain way, then, its totally okay and no one should judge you for it :) It doesn't impair you in any way, its just another one of your brain's signals, like fear, happiness, sadness.

Second of all, ofcourse path can help with that. Repetition of gurbani might make you forget about your worries for a few moments but will not fix it until you actually understand it. You need to know about what triggers your anxiety first, and so take treatment from there. Baani is medicine and can cure the biggest of diseases (sansaar rogi, naam daroo).

Take hints from baani like: - Eh jo duniya sehr mela, dastgeeri naahi (this world is a play, nothing in this will remain forever) - nanak dukhiya sab sansaar (everyone in this world is suffering) - Tu kaahe dole praaniya tudh rakhega sirjanhaar ( why do you waver, o person, god will protect you) - har jan aisa chahiye jaisa har hi hoye (the god's servant should be just like god, hence, nirbhau, nirvair) - Tati vao na lagae paarbhram sarnaiee (In god's sanctuary, even hot winds cant touch you) - ude ud jaave sau kosa, tis paache bachere chareya, tin kavan khilave, kavan chugave, man me simran kareya (birds fly 100's of miles for food, who takes care of their young ones? - Thus, meaning its is god who cares and protects)

There is no one other than god in this world, without his will, nothing can even touch us, so take to his sanctuary, and he will save you from your worries. How? well, you will begin to love whatever he does (good or bad), after all, he gave us life. Through guru's baani we understand all this and feel relaxed. (Jo howa hovat so jaan, prabh apne ka hukam pachaan - know whatever happened, is through the hukam of god). Hence, your anxiety can definitely be cured through gurbani. You're the son/daughter of Guru Nanak, so why do you worry :) Listen and understand gurbani, you will begin to turn "nirbhau". Just like how Guru Arjan Dev ji was sitting on a hot surface, and many other ordinary people who weren't hesitant of giving away even their lives, knowing that this world is not the prime truth, but god is. Nothing in this world will go along with us, other than baani, so don't worry, let things happens and they will lead to goodness. Hope this helped. Bhul chuk muaf karni and feel free to question me or share any anxiety issues :)

Waheguru jio, in the shabad, it does follow with "kis aage keeje ardaas?", hence, asking the same question. On one hand, guru ji agrees that we should do ardaas, on the other he also says that he knows the situation of every heart, to whom shall we offer our prayers. However, through gurbani we can see that guru ji asks us to do ardaas to ask for mercy of our deeds, because he is the ever forgiving god and so give us naam. When love develops within us, we only ask for god and its a reciprocal relationship, thus, god loves back (he loves everyone). Thus, even though god knows everything, we pray for ourselves and god the greatest giver, gives to us :) Bhul chuk muaf karni.

Very sorry to hear about the loss, but take it as a lesson and will of god. You're strong and you have guru ji, take all the time you need and i'm sure you will heal. Waheguru ji mehr karn, te tohadi wife di aatma nu shaanti bakshn.

You're right Waheguru jio, there's no such thing as taking fasts in Sikhi; as clearly stated in Asa di vaar (by Guru Nanak Dev ji). lines from shabad below:

a(n)n na khaiaa saadh gavaiaa ||

One who does not eat the corn, misses out on the taste.

bahu dhukh paiaa dhoojaa bhaiaa ||

One obtains great pain, in the love of duality.

The relationship we have with god is totally personal and so yes, pray for whatever you wish but until you take action, nothing can be done. So try to talk to him and make him see the right path.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh behn ji,

In sikhi and "reality", there is no such thing as black magic and nor is there something like doing certain amounts of path to bring someone back. When we're in trouble or sadness, we look to bring back happiness in any condition and make up scenarios in our head which don't even exist. I'm sure his parents didn't do black magic on him but you may be right on the "turning him against you" bit. They will reap what they sow, so don't worry about them. However, your husband on the other hand, has no right to kick you out without an explanation. The only way to bring him back is through talking to him, there is no other way.

Do path, but to understand the meaning and then apply it in your life. For example, tell him that laavan is done as a vow that this marriage will be centring Guru Granth sahib ji and their teachings. It tells us that marriage is about two bodies and one soul, and definitely not done to kick out another partner when your mind changes. It is important to ask him about what you did and what you can do to improve on it (if he sees that you did something which he really cant live with). You can even talk to your nearby granthi, which your husband also talks to, and see if he can find out the reasons or change his mind.

On the other hand, god takes care of every being and this world is a show of his, whatever he pleases comes to pass. So, please don't feel alone, remain calm and follow sikhi with perhaps the help of your family or friends. Tough times do pass, and I'm sure you're brave enough to go through this. Remain patient and talk to him as well as his family to come to a solution. "sansaar rogi, naam daaru, mel laage sach bina". Please remain under his will, that will be living a true life. Waheguru mehr kare. Bhul chuk muaf karni.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

What do you mean? Please explain what you mean by yellow teeth, body part etc? What does that have to do with path? Shouldn't you be doing path by yourself? and then understand the meaning? If you're not, try doing that and in that way you wont be looking at other humans, thus, not picking up their "flaws".

Waheguru Ji Ka khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

Both Guruka Singh ji and StrongKaur has adviced your correctly. I suggest chatting with Guruka Singh ji first and then going to the links, you may find that letting out your feelings to someone who's listening might be what you need. However, there's something I want to say here, it's not a forceful opinion and as usual its your wish if you want to take it or not but here I go:

"nanak dukhiya sab sansaar" - meaning, the whole world is sad. This is only a line from Guru Granth Sahib ji and states the most truest of things. We all get given sadness in some way or another but its how we react to it, is what "makes us" sad or calm. Now, Guru Gobind Singh ji for example, lost all four of his sons, mother, father, separated from wife, many soldiers died (which he considered as his sons or daughters) died in war. Now isn't that sorrow? to have all your loved ones, die or separate from you? To us, yes... but to Guru ji it was "ketiya dukh pukh sad maar, e b data teri dataar". Hence, he considered hunger and sadness as gifts of god.

When god gives us happiness, we don't say "why me?" so is it right to appeal to the same god in sadness by saying "why me?". That means we only accept one thing from god and that is only happiness. Remember, its like ying and yang... with happiness there must come sadness and with sadness there will come happiness. We just have to accept what god is giving us because there will be those who are wayyyy poorer than us; in some sooo much more pain, yet, they're living. Happiness is what we make out of little things and come from little thing (no worldly pleasure will give you happiness that lasts, only contentment will). Just breathe and say "jo tudh bhaave soi changa, ek nanak ki ardaase" - "whatever you do, pleases me, this is nanak's ardaas".

You are the child of god and disciple of our guru ji, you are very strong and no matter what may come, you have the power to battle it through. Just live in hukam of god and know that you will live long, because this problem will pass by but you will not come by earth again. You're very much needed and loved, trust me. Waheguru ji is the nearest of the near, he listens to all your problems, so just know you always have someone by you at all times! Bhul chuk muaf :)

No need for a thanks ji! Its all my pleasure to help another sikh out :) Also, it looks like Guruka Singh ji has answered your question. Waheguru ji mehr banai rakhan tohade te. Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh.

Waheguru jio, you're right, not all hyms are included, its the same with Bhagat fareed ji and kabeer ji too. So, every hym that Guru Nanak ji agreed with, he included in Guru Granth Sahib and spoke/sung the baani himself. Thus, your knowledge is correct as far as I know. :) Hope that cleared things.

Waheguru jio, its simple and short as "you wont know until you try". So, you can come up with thousands of scenarios but it might still be away from reality. Thus, just approach with a little "hi" or anything and see what happens. Do not be scared of getting rejected or getting ignored because that might actually push you to move on because right now you see him as someone amazing or perfect etc. Wish you the best. Bhul chuk muaf.

Strong Kaur, don't you worry. Stand for what you said, Veer paji, sikhi is purely peaceful and asks us to stand for the good but not by bombing people. Its about being a soldier on the inside, read asa di vaar. Following gurbani is considered even higher than dying in a battlefield according to it.

Waheguru jio, I strongly believe that you should probably seek a counsellor's or a psychologists help for the anxiety as you seem to be highly influenced by it. Trust me they will help and also your brain wont explode, its possibly high stress levels. Try to eat a healthy diet, containing vitamins, iron etc.

Also, listen to gurbani "nanak chinta mat karo" or read up on guru granth sahib ji as according to gurbani, only the true guru can remove one's doubts about this worldly matters (maya) and or everything else. bhul chuk muaf.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

Behn ji, I want to start off by saying that your brother might be going through isolation, which is why he doesn't come forth like he use to. Erik Erikson's and his stages of development shows that at your brothers' age, he's at "intimacy vs isolation". Thus, definitely try to talk to him, comfort him, like a mother or a being who understands his true self. So what if he's not close to his father? he has guru ji or god to call his father, remember he's the closest of the closest "mera sajanda sab te nikat khada"; "my beloved, stands the closest to me". God doesn't judge and listens to all our worries but its up to us to believe that. Know that every other thing is false, so why dwell upon things for so long and get depressed when you know you have something that will last forever?

I suggest listen to "Salok of ninth guru" in Punjabi with English translation to understand how transitory this world is and we're only in this world as guests. Perhaps a little support and more push in the right direction is what he needs. We're all humans and we just want to be loved, so try giving him that even though he's 28, he might still be fearful of interacting or letting feelings out. Thus, try to be an approachable person and get him to realise that you are someone he can share anything with, as well as our beloved guru/god.

Bhul chuk muaf.

Thank you!

thanks! :)

Furthermore, there's many actresses with a unique or different nose and still accepted as beautiful. Its really how you perceive yourself. StrongKaur is def right! Learn to accept and love yourself from within. :)

I must not have, but in this case, its totally out of her control. she didn't know and i'm sure her parents will understand, they want the best for their child. :)

Waheguru jio, he's just a human, like yourself, like me. However, I do understand that approaching someone can be difficult. Why don't you just try with a simple smile and a hello with it. If he replies, then great, if not, he's very rude and you don't deserve to give so much love to someone who doesn't acknowledge it. I strongly believe that its important to let people go at times because no matter how much we try, they will not stay. Its simple reality and we have to face it. So, try to talk because you're amazing and as another human, he needs to respect you and reply. Good luck, you'll be just fine. Here for more help if you need. Waheguru mehr kare.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

First of all, you cant run away from the rule of the universe and that's "reaping what you sow", so even if you change thousands of names, you'll still be under the law. Honestly, god doesn't want you to change anything, because he allows everything to be and doesn't take revenge on anyone, hence, "nirvair". Nor does he distribute people on the basis of caste, religion, gender etc. So why do you think in this case he'll do that? God is everyone's and in everyone, don't you think?

Now, do you feel like you ruined your parent's reputation because you brought in a muslim boy? Is that what's causing your family's tears? If so, I think its best to speak to your local granthi, someone who can look at both perspectives. On the other hand, I think you need to have a family talk, where you now find a resolution of this. Try explaining that in today's society, marrying someone of the religion isn't seen as a disastrous thing. Tell them that he will not be changing my sikhi and may even allow one of the kids or someone to be a sikh? ( I hope that's the case but what i'm trying to say is that point out his good things and let them know that sikhi will still live). However, if I've assumed most of the things, please clarify so I can try to help a sister out. Bhul Chuk Muaf.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

I'm just answering so people can notice this question. I am unsure about this as I only consider following Guru shabad as the real seva. However, someone else might be able to better answer your question, veer ji. bhul chuk muaf.

Waheguru Jio, I want to start off by saying there is no other than god and he is everywhere. "Saajnda mera saajanda, nikat khaloyeda mera saajanda" meaning "my dear god stands so close to me". Second of all, no one can put in faith within you, its your own personal experience. Read gurbani and trust that whatever guru ji says is most definitely true. In Asa di vaar, Guru Angad Dev ji mentions "je sau chanda ugwe suraj chade hazaar, ete chaanan hondeya gur bin ghor andhaar", meaning "even if 100 suns and moons were to rise, there will still be total darkness". In this case, guru ji is talking about inner knowledge, and it comes only from real guru and ours is "guru granth sahib ji". Trust me, there is god and he's with and looks after everyone. As it says in rehraas sahib "when the birds fly away thousands of miles, who cares for them?", guru ji means that god takes care of the baby birds when their mothers flys away thousands of miles. So don't worry, simply listen to gurbani and understand the meanings :) Bhul chuk muaf.

Here are some shabads with meanings, to further help you di.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A7B1... , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwMm7...

Yeah I think so, bikhai means "poison" I think. So, referring to passion being of ego being poison in this context. However, Guruka Singh ji might be able to better explain it if I'm wrong.

Great. Waheguru mehr karn.

Wonderful that you found it helpful too! :) Waheguru ji di mehr poori ona te.

Agreed with Guruka Singh ji, and also behn ji, the world see whats you do and god sees why you do it. Remember, there is only ONE god and the world runs according to his hukam, not your mums' or anyone else's. Just study hard and that will get you good grades, and try to actually understand gurbani ji. It seems that you get scared about things and that's normal but nothing in this world is ours and so we shouldn't be afraid to lose it (as we don't own it). Thus, welcome bad things and good things equally, they're all coming according to our own actions, not by any punishments or blessings from god. He doesn't sit there and goes "oh this man isn't praying to me, so i'll punish him". No, his hukam is just "aape beej aape hi khao", "you reap what you sow". Take a deep breath, listen to gurbani, contemplate it and also try to talk to your mother calmly, she's not your enemy, I promise :). When you learn to kill your ego and understand that everyone has god within them, you wont be scared by anyone or hate anyone (i'm trying to learn that too). Bhul chuk muaf karni.

Waheguru jio, I hope that you and your family maintain the strength you're carrying right now. At this time and always, its best to accept God's bhaana, and encourage your brother to step out of the "attachment" or victim phase, as guru ji has told us that no one is ours in this world. She will reap what she's sowing. Take him to gurudwara and ask him to spend some time with the granthi singh there and understand more about gurbani. Its definitely a tough time, but hey we have guru ji who will never leave us. Also, try to get in touch with khalsa aid, perhaps they will able to help. Bhul Chuk Muaf.

Mool mantra includes "Nirbhau, Nirvair", meaning "without fear, without hate". Listen to gurbani and understand it. Its all about loving god and seeing that he has set certain rules for the universe, and we simply reap what we sow. Just learn to obey the hukam and stay pleased in happiness or sorrow. Do not doubt god or think of him as someone who hates, takes revenge, gets angry or makes schemes to ruin anything. All he does is spread love and nurture everything in the universe. Bhul chuk muaf.

Waheguru Jio, I suggest Professor Sahib Singh ji's teeka called "Guru Granth Sahib ji darpan". It includes in-depth translation which I hold to as 99.9% true to baani with references! So, its brilliant. Hope this helps.