Anonymous sikh's profile - activity

To be honest, you will encounter 2 groups of Sikhs; when they will be answering your question whether you should trim your beard or not? One group will use religion as a basis to their argument that you should maintain a full grown beard, the other group will say whatever satisfies you internally. Honestly I trim my beard as well, whatever decision you decide to take should be your own decision and don't get swayed by other people's decision. I too encountered the same problem you did at once, so I know where your coming from, I totally understand your dilemma, whatever decision you may take be sure you decide at your own free will not by any person's thinking or any person using religion as a basis for you to follow their path.

Well success is measured by falling 7 times and getting up the eighth time. I know your sad by this, but its not the end of the world, you can try again. All great leaders have failed at one point in their life but they still kept trying repeatedly till they were successful. Remember a toddler attempts to walk but at first few times they fall but they keep trying till they learn to walk. Go take your next driving road test but before you take it have a positive attitude about yourself "yes I can do it".

To be honest it may depend on how are you approaching women and asking them to marry you. First and foremost you can't ask any lady to marry you until they don't have any feelings for you. To marry someone it is done gradually raising the issue to marriage to the potential person you want to marry, the issue to marriage is never to be raised in a quick and rash decision. Marriage will impact your life and the other person you will marry, so a lot of thinking and both the potential couple's lifestyles is to be focused very carefully. For example if you are very devout and religious and you end up marrying someone who is not or vice versa it may not work out and possibly might lead to divorce as both the couple have different priorities in life. May be you might be approaching those ladies who just view you as a good friend and they don't view you as a potential life partner. If you really want to get married soon try to change a few things about yourself, for example stay away from controversial topics, stay away from guys who still act like they are still in high school, talk politely to a lady, try not to use swear words (curses).

Well honestly black magic does exist but Sikhism doesn't believe in it. There are several cures from black magic.

Well to be honest, most guys in your shoes would have done the same, all due to raging hormones, but then again it's not permitted in any faith. Having premartial sexual intercourse is so common these days yet it is still condemnable act of sin. Most guys in your place would not think twice to have sex with their girlfriend. To be honest as a guy I would too have done the same as you did so nothing to feel guilty about.

Yes you can kiss your girlfriend, we do live in 21st century so it's okay.

I still would disagree that it is necessary for both spouse to be amritdhari, because its one thing to convince someone to take Amrit and another thing to force a person to take Amrit if they wish to maintain their married lifestyle. Amrit should be a personal decision and the non amritdhari spouse should not be forced into it.

To be honest there is two answers to your question, The older Sikh population is still practicing the old practices of caste discrimination and gender discrimination, whereas the younger Sikh population as well as western educated Sikhs have become more open minded and accepting of people. For example the only gurdwara in the world where Sikh women are part of panj pyare and hold sri Guru Granth Sahib ji on their head during sukhasan is in Espanola, New Mexico(Same Sikhs who are running this very site).

This is an interesting topic that many people are putting their opinions about. If I can honestly answer your question of whether Sikhism is dying or not it is hard to answer this question because this question is quite complex to answer. First and foremost one needs to understand that living as a turbaned sikh man and facing some challenges (whether school bullying, peer pressure, random airport screening, employment discrimination, and matrimonial discrimination) has forced many Sikhs to remove their turbans because of the circumstances. On the other note some Sikhs who at one point had cut their hair decided to re-adopt their visible sikh identity. One question you had asked if turbaned sikh guys are good looking to girls well that depends on individual sikh girl, but majority of sikh girls these days prefer clean shaven guy as opposed to a turbaned sikh guy. One thing to understand is every individual whether its guy or girl is entitled to their own opinion. Honestly these days only a small handful of sikh women prefer to marry a turbaned sikh man. Your other question was how can this patit (clean shaven ) trend be stopped well there are many ways first and foremost the parents have to educate the kids on sikh history, sikh identity, sikh sacrifices, also the local gurdwaras need to address this issue by setting up sikh camps, sikh seminars, having a youth discussion forum so that the youth can discuss about sikh identity and civil rights.

Hi I am a little confused regarding Sikhism and sikh practices. First and foremost all my sikh friends and family members are clean shaven yet I am the only turbaned sikh among them, by now I am fed up of being a turbaned sikh and I desire to cut my hair, would it be okay for me to cut my hair since I am the last turbaned sikh person in my family? Secondly is it okay to trim one's beard ?, as I face this problem daily of maintaining my beard daily. I have noticed many of my friends have sikh girlfriends yet I being a turbaned sikh also desire the same like every guy but unfortunately many sikh girls want a clean shaven sikh guy as their boyfriend. Is it wrong to desire to be like every one else? Many times when I had asked this question to other Sikhs whether a sikh can have a girlfriend they all seemed to give me age old lecture that having a relationship is against Sikhism. Why do I get lectured for trying to being like others? I used to run a Sikhism based website but now I have shut my Sikhism based website down as many sikh guys and girls my age group would label me as extremist, fanatic, and also orthodox minded. While I was enthusiast towards Sikhism I was not encouraged to pursue it further, but now I have taken a decision not to wear a turban ever again as I while cutting my hair as well. I am sure many of you reading will probably feel I have taken the wrong decision well I am fed up of being singled out.

I have a debatable question to ask the entire Sikh sangat, to answer. Well some months ago there was this Giani ji at my local gurdwara who opposed interfaith wedding inside the gurdwara and he would not allow it in the gurdwara because he believed it strictly contradicted sikh rehat maryada, the believe in only ten gurus, Guru Granth Sahib ji, and both the sikh couple (male and female) would not hold affiliation to any other faith. Due to his strong religious conviction the gurdwara committee as well as the sikh sangat decided to remove him from the gurdwara as a Giani ji. My question do you think is it fair to punish a sikh for following Sikhism nearly and dearly or do you think the gurdwara committee was right?

Well you can try to convince him but besides that you need to realize that he as an individual is entitled to make his own decisions on his own. If you would like to take amrit in the future but your spouse doesn't that is fine because until he himself is not willingly ready to take amrit nothing can change his mind. You can try educating him about sikh faith and practices in detail besides that he is grown adult and he has to make a decision himself whether he wants to pursue this path or not. Even if he doesn't take amrit if would not change your and his relation as husband and wife.

I am a turbaned Sikh man, yet I am a bit disturbed that many people that I have come across feel that I am too close to faith(Sikhi). My friends and family have told me to back away from Sikhi as they feel that I am becoming a fanatic. For starters majority of my friends and relatives have given up of keeping long hair and wearing a turban. I too want to cut my hair but I am conflicted. At my age all my friends have a girlfriend yet since I wear a turban this has kept the girls away from me. Girls have even said I look like a freak, or a caveman. Whether I hangout with my friends in a bar or a club my turban has always caused the conflict with the bouncer of the place as they do not permit people with turbans into their clubs or bars. I know many reading this many feel that I am taking the wrong step but what do I do? Is it so wrong to wish to be like everyone else? This turban and beard has created more problems and conflicts for me now I feel like maybe I shouldn't be wearing it at all.

Well I must appreciate you for asking the current state of sikh affairs. In order to answer your question it's best if we do realize that it's very complicated to answer. The current state of sikh affairs is going thru a roller coaster which means on one side there some Sikhs who passionate about Sikhi and sikh rehat maryada and then there are some Sikhs who have distanced themselves from sikhi. Today majority of Sikhs have cut their hair and are having interfaith marriages and there are a handful of Sikhs who have still maintained their sikh identity. Therefore the current state of Sikh affairs is complex. Today Sikhs are residing all over the world and in some cases they are facing challenges as how to pass the sikh heritage onto the next generation. Although some Sikhs residing in UK, Canada, Singapore, America, Thailand, Australia, and etc are taking tremendous efforts to preserve the sikh identity, Sikh history, and educating not only the Sikhs but the non-sikh populations as well to who and what the Sikhs are. Do remember this that when a rose grows the thorns will grow along with it. This clearly means that even though that the Sikhs are residing all over the world and they have made great success in which ever country they reside in but they still faced obstacles along the way. Life gives us half glass of water it is up to us whether we see the glass as half full or half empty.

This is an interesting topic that many people are putting their opinions about. If I can honestly answer your question of whether Sikhism is dying or not it is hard to answer this question because this question is quite complex to answer. First and foremost one needs to understand that living as a turbaned sikh man and facing some challenges (whether school bullying, peer pressure, random airport screening, employment discrimination, and matrimonial discrimination) has forced many Sikhs to remove their turbans because of the circumstances. On the other note some Sikhs who at one point had cut their hair decided to re-adopt their visible sikh identity. One question you had asked if turbaned sikh guys are good looking to girls well that depends on individual sikh girl, but majority of sikh girls these days prefer clean shaven guy as opposed to a turbaned sikh guy. One thing to understand is every individual whether its guy or girl is entitled to their own opinion. Honestly these days only a small handful of sikh women prefer to marry a turbaned sikh man. Your other question was how can this patit (clean shaven ) trend be stopped well there are many ways first and foremost the parents have to educate the kids on sikh history, sikh identity, sikh sacrifices, also the local gurdwaras need to address this issue by setting up sikh camps, sikh seminars, having a youth discussion forum so that the youth can discuss about sikh identity and civil rights.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex with your wife. May I suggest you should purchase a copy of kamasutra, or movies talking about making sex pleasureable. Sex is meant to be erotic, sexual, fun, relaxing, and romantic. If you want to make Sex fun with your wife then try implementing romance, scented oils, romantic novels, candles, erotic lingerie, and adult movies(Pornographic movies). You can also try to massage each other before sex as it will stimulate the body and senses and make sex more enjoyable and relaxing for both of you. Oral sex will also make sex more fun, as both of you should try to give each other oral sex. To make sex more enjoyable both of you can try and change your sex positions rather than having sex in the same routine manner and position. This is all I could come up with.

personally I would agree with the school, Just dont bring the kirpan to school as it will create some hatred among people.

Personally some Sikh men tie their beards others leave it open. More or less it depends on the individual and the job they have.