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I am a Mona Punjabi guy who used to visit gurudware sahib every day, but I fell in bad sangat and did a lot of bad things (drugs, alcohol, lying, deviousness, dating) I hate myself for being a narcissistic and a bad person but that is not the case, since I was nice and honest before. I am young (21) and my life is falling apart gradually, both mentally and physically. It has gotten to a point where I know, whatever I do affects me very badly in the long term and I really am scared to face guru sahib, since I have disrespected him. I think following Sikhi can deviate me from the above vices and give me dedication to become a gursikh. So is it possible to follow Sikhi considering I have been into things which Sikhi is totally against?