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Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh. I am a girl from India, a sikh 27 years old. I have always tried to be this good religious girl, for my whole life i had no relationship. first to tell my past mistakes which i am never proud about, feel so much guilt and regret..at the age of 25 i met a guy online and i fell in love with him, it ended for 3-4 months in which i showed the guy my body 7-8 online(i never wanted to), he was overseas so i never met him in real. he lied and he left me, i am glad he left me otherwise i was gonna keep doing it to please him. then at the age of 27 i got attracted to my senior married doctor (i am a nurse) i never thought of him that way but one day on new year he came and kissed me and since then i started feeling for him, told myself to hold back and not to act wrong, but my bad karma i met him thrice as he would always ask me to and got a bit physical with him but no intercourse and even getting physical with him meant nothing to me because i knew i was wrong and i couldn't feel anything i would always be in guilt with him. i could understand that if the soul is not with you the body can't feel anything. whew!! well to start the real problem now is that around 2005 one of my mom's best friend who is in the UK wanted me as her daughter in law, her son being born and brought up in the UK never showed interest in me and we never talked but i always had this wait inside me that one day i will meet that guy and we will get married, i loved his mom a lot and she always called us and loved us. so after soo many years this august 2012 he finally came to talk to me, i had always waited for him, we were talking on skype everything was going so good, my mistake was that without giving him a chance to ask me about any bf i told him myself that i have been with no guy, because i had taught myself and my friends also told me not to tell anything i thought an online rel. for 3-4 months is nothing and that doc was never my bf, just a silly mistake i made in attraction or lust. so after 3 weeks i told him that i am hiding something from you, though he himself had sexual relationships, went to the pubs and clubs enjoyed his life...so i told him everything i stated above about my past, he got angry and decided to stop talking to me. he was angry that i lied to him. i did apologize several times. after 3-4 days he came on skype and made me tell everything to his and my mom, then he told my bro. when he had called him to ask what went wrong and then my cousin called him and he and his mom told a lot about me. now almost my whole family and my close relatives know that there was something in my past this doc and bla bla. the whole day i keep questioning myself what i did wrong, whether that guy is right or wrong in telling the truth to everyone, should he had acted this way? what some other guy would had done if he was in his shoes. i mean most of the time i am thinking about my past and this guy and his mom and this whole issue. it has been 2 months since we stopped communicating. we just talked as a bf gf for 3 weeks and then 3-4 weeks as friends. but is this ok to tell everything about my past just to prove yourself right that the whole relationship went down because the girl trusted the guy and told her past mistakes and for true i really never had any bf in real. please help me to understand the right, sometimes i get up with a headache,. all the time i think about this. and i am so sorry for this long post. i was 100% honest with him, my mistake was that i lied in the beginning but i told later. but now because of all this my past is in out in front of everyone. i can't even hate him neither love him, can't pray good neither bad for him. whew!!