Revision history [back]

I’ve been targeted as a young girl by fake friends and fake relationships. I came from India and have been here since elementary. I grew up with little guidence on how to connect with God. I stopped going to the Gurdwara which is only a walking distance from my house and praying to God as I got into highschool. With fake friends came a Muslim bf who my friend made a deal with to ruin my life and have his sins cleared. I know i was young and stupid but I’ve commited the ultimate sin. I was unaware of how many people behind my back were involved to bring me down from a good girl to just as bad as them out of jealousy and I was completely blind that anyone could hate me enough to harm me since Ive only ever shown people in my life love. Not even the friends i trusted that are Sikh mentioned the sin of being with a Muslim and kam. I was with him for couple years of highschool. I was not aware of how far from God he has taken me and my family.

I know the choices at the end of the day were mine to let this muslim into my life and home but I never grew up with what it means to be a Sikh and how I was supposed to go through life. I ended up having friends around me that also didn’t believe in God. These “friends” looked at my increasing depression and suffering as their way of having completed their job with me to bring me down as a bad girl to other guys that called me good.

I am 24 now and have finally gotten the realization I needed that I have been going through life the worst way possible to this point and have put my family through hell and I never had the intention to hurt anyone. I have completely cut everyone out of my life and I’m trying to accept myself being alone for once. I’m trying to change everything about me that is my past. My house my name my car everything. I want to become the person I know I was meant to be before I went into the wrong path.

Everytime I pray for forgiveness, I cry, I go to the Gurdwara and cry. Will I ever be forgiven? Can God really take me back? Can he help my family get the life they were supposed to live if I didn’t chose this path that changed theirs forever. I know I should have faith that God is listening to my prayers and loves me but I feel so ashamed that I no longer want to live. I have finally opened my eyes and realized I am no longer the good girl I was and could have been.

I just want to know if its even possible to be forgiven for being wrong for so many years. Have I missed my time to get back on the right path its been 10 years since I have been in the wrong mindset, without God and having my family suffer for my mistakes and ruining relationships with them.

I’ve been targeted as a young girl by fake friends and fake relationships. I came from India and have been here since elementary. I grew up with little guidence on how to connect with God. I stopped going to the Gurdwara which is only a walking distance from my house and praying to God as I got into highschool. With fake friends came a Muslim bf who my friend made a deal with to ruin my life and have his sins cleared. I know i was young and stupid but I’ve commited the ultimate sin. I was unaware of how many people behind my back were involved to bring me down from a good girl to just as bad as them out of jealousy and I was completely blind that anyone could hate me enough to harm me since Ive only ever shown people in my life love. Not even the friends i trusted that are Sikh mentioned the sin of being with a Muslim and kam. I was with him for couple years of highschool. I was not aware of how far from God he has taken me and my family.

I know the choices at the end of the day were mine to let this muslim into my life and home but I never grew up with what it means to be a Sikh and how I was supposed to go through life. I ended up having friends around me that also didn’t believe in God. These “friends” looked at my increasing depression and suffering as their way of having completed their job with me to bring me down as a bad girl to other guys that called me good.

I am 24 now and have finally gotten the realization I needed that I have been going through life the worst way possible to this point and have put my family through hell and I never had the intention to hurt anyone. I have completely cut everyone out of my life and I’m trying to accept myself being alone for once. I’m trying to change everything about me that is my past. My house my name my car everything. I want to become the person I know I was meant to be before I went into the wrong path.

Everytime I pray for forgiveness, I cry, I go to the Gurdwara and cry. Will I ever be forgiven? Can God really take me back? Can he help my family get the life they were supposed to live if I didn’t chose this path that changed theirs forever. I know I should have faith that God is listening to my prayers and loves me but I feel so ashamed that I no longer want to live. I have finally opened my eyes and realized I am no longer the good girl I was and could have been.

I just want to know if its even possible to be forgiven for being wrong for so many years. Have I missed my time to get back on the right path its been 10 years since I have been in the wrong mindset, without God and having my family suffer for my mistakes and ruining relationships with them.