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I have been going to the Gurudwara almost everyday and some days 2 to 3 times a day or to record Kirtan and help out. I was abit of a hindu before but after my dear wife passed away I wanted to follow Sikhism and get into this illuminated phase of life like some our Sikh Saints, but that is just not happening. I am in some serious health problems Liver and heart pain and back pain, Ulcerative Colitis, as well as Chronic fatigue syndrome. My doctors are not bothered. This is England and we are customers. Doctors want us to visit many many times so they can get more money from the Govt. and Not send us to hopsital as they loose money , as that is the deal the hospital has with the doctor. (Give and sell as much drugs as they can!). SO drug companies make money. I am so fed up and just wished i was not around to suffer any more. I cannot find any solutions for any of my problems, due to all the above it is difficult to get a job. Kids wants things and i cannot give them anything, it is so frustrating. Government handouts are not enough to life a decent basic life. When i was better i used to work in the Jobcentre during the day and do mini cabbing at night go to sleep at 4 am and then g o to my office job at 9am. I have always worked even when i had my diagonsis of the Ulcerative colities. But now I cannot handle it anymore. As i suffer bouts of insomnia i am awake most nights and early mornings i will sit in and listen to morning paath and then 7am go to bed. I had stared going to a Gurudwara in Slough where they do kirtan with Waheguru jaap and i could sit in for 4 to 5 hours easy... and come back home like i have achieved so piece. But recently i have come across these lines sung from the Bani by Hazoori Ragi Giani Sahib Singhji: ਨਿਰਧਨ ਆਦਰੁ ਕੋਈ ਨ ਦੇਇ ॥

niradhan ādar kōī n dēi . No one respects the poor. ਲਾਖ ਜਤਨ ਕਰੈ ਓਹੁ ਚਿਤਿ ਨ ਧਰੇਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ lākh jatan karai ōh chit n dharēi .1. rahāu . They may make thousands of efforts, but no one pays them any attention. ||1||Pause|| ਜਉ ਨਿਰਧਨੁ ਸਰਧਨ ਕੈ ਜਾਇ ॥ jau niradhan saradhan kai jāi . When the poor man goes to the rich man, ਆਗੇ ਬੈਠਾ ਪੀਠਿ ਫਿਰਾਇ ॥੧॥ āgē baithā pīth phirāi .1. and sits right in front of him, the rich man turns his back on him. ||1|| ਜਉ ਸਰਧਨੁ ਨਿਰਧਨ ਕੈ ਜਾਇ ॥ jau saradhan niradhan kai jāi . But when the rich man goes to the poor man, ਦੀਆ ਆਦਰੁ ਲੀਆ ਬੁਲਾਇ ॥੨॥ dīā ādar līā bulāi .2. the poor man welcomes him with respect. ||2|| ਨਿਰਧਨੁ ਸਰਧਨੁ ਦੋਨਉ ਭਾਈ ॥ niradhan saradhan dōnau bhāī . The poor man and the rich man are both brothers. ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕੀ ਕਲਾ ਨ ਮੇਟੀ ਜਾਈ ॥੩॥ prabh kī kalā n mētī jāī .3. God's power cannot be erased. ||3|| ਕਹਿ ਕਬੀਰ ਨਿਰਧਨੁ ਹੈ ਸੋਈ ॥ kah kabīr niradhan hai sōī . Says Kabeer, he alone is poor, ਜਾ ਕੇ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਹੋਈ ॥੪॥੮॥ jā kē hiradai nām n hōī .4.8. who does not have the Naam, the Name of the Lord, in his heart. ||4||8||

He says : prabh kī kalā n mētī jāī .3. God's power cannot be erased

So my question is if nothing is going to change and the suffering and the pain will continue what do i do? Carry on the jaap, do sewa at the Guru Ghar? I am completly broken and dont know what to do? Please help...Please.advice... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9rp_di2ldg&t=747s

I have been going to the Gurudwara almost everyday and some days 2 to 3 times a day or to record Kirtan and help out. I was abit of a hindu before but after my dear wife passed away I wanted to follow Sikhism and get into this illuminated phase of life like some our Sikh Saints, but that is just not happening. I am in some serious health problems Liver and heart pain and back pain, Ulcerative Colitis, as well as Chronic fatigue syndrome. My doctors are not bothered. This is England and we are customers. Doctors want us to visit many many times so they can get more money from the Govt. and Not send us to hopsital as they loose money , as that is the deal the hospital has with the doctor. (Give and sell as much drugs as they can!). SO drug companies make money. I am so fed up and just wished i was not around to suffer any more. I cannot find any solutions for any of my problems, due to all the above it is difficult to get a job. Kids wants things and i cannot give them anything, it is so frustrating. Government handouts are not enough to life a decent basic life. When i was better i used to work in the Jobcentre during the day and do mini cabbing at night go to sleep at 4 am and then g o to my office job at 9am. I have always worked even when i had my diagonsis of the Ulcerative colities. But now I cannot handle it anymore. As i suffer bouts of insomnia i am awake most nights and early mornings i will sit in and listen to morning paath and then 7am go to bed. I had stared going to a Gurudwara in Slough where they do kirtan with Waheguru jaap and i could sit in for 4 to 5 hours easy... and come back home like i have achieved so piece. But recently i have come across these lines sung from the Bani by Hazoori Ragi Giani Sahib Singhji: ਨਿਰਧਨ ਆਦਰੁ ਕੋਈ ਨ ਦੇਇ ॥

niradhan ādar kōī n dēi . No one respects the poor. ਲਾਖ ਜਤਨ ਕਰੈ ਓਹੁ ਚਿਤਿ ਨ ਧਰੇਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ lākh jatan karai ōh chit n dharēi .1. rahāu . They may make thousands of efforts, but no one pays them any attention. ||1||Pause|| ਜਉ ਨਿਰਧਨੁ ਸਰਧਨ ਕੈ ਜਾਇ ॥ jau niradhan saradhan kai jāi . When the poor man goes to the rich man, ਆਗੇ ਬੈਠਾ ਪੀਠਿ ਫਿਰਾਇ ॥੧॥ āgē baithā pīth phirāi .1. and sits right in front of him, the rich man turns his back on him. ||1|| ਜਉ ਸਰਧਨੁ ਨਿਰਧਨ ਕੈ ਜਾਇ ॥ jau saradhan niradhan kai jāi . But when the rich man goes to the poor man, ਦੀਆ ਆਦਰੁ ਲੀਆ ਬੁਲਾਇ ॥੨॥ dīā ādar līā bulāi .2. the poor man welcomes him with respect. ||2|| ਨਿਰਧਨੁ ਸਰਧਨੁ ਦੋਨਉ ਭਾਈ ॥ niradhan saradhan dōnau bhāī . The poor man and the rich man are both brothers. ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕੀ ਕਲਾ ਨ ਮੇਟੀ ਜਾਈ ॥੩॥ prabh kī kalā n mētī jāī .3. God's power cannot be erased. ||3|| ਕਹਿ ਕਬੀਰ ਨਿਰਧਨੁ ਹੈ ਸੋਈ ॥ kah kabīr niradhan hai sōī . Says Kabeer, he alone is poor, ਜਾ ਕੇ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਹੋਈ ॥੪॥੮॥ jā kē hiradai nām n hōī .4.8. who does not have the Naam, the Name of the Lord, in his heart. ||4||8||

He says : prabh kī kalā n mētī jāī .3. God's power cannot be erased

So my question is if nothing is going to change and the suffering and the pain will continue what do i do? Carry on the jaap, do sewa at the Guru Ghar? I am completly broken and dont know what to do? Please help...Please.advice... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9rp_di2ldg&t=747s