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What a life? Like I have been posting on this website for a short time

I am completely broken within myself! Since loosing my wife 4 months ago aged 41, I cannot see any purpose of my life! I am trying very very hard to talk to people, go to the Gurudwara everyday, do sewa, listen to kirtan and do naam simran. When i go to the Gurudwara and i hear some shabads my heart is filled up and i cry like a little boy asking for chocolates! and for the longing for my pritam, and what is happening in my life. Nothing is close to getting corrected in my life, my job, expenses, house, kids needs and demands. I am still so upset with life i just wished I was dead too. People i thought were my family have turned their backs to me and my wifes relatives think i did something to her that she got this dreaded disease called cancer! How can i live in Gods name when my children in front of my eyes are not happy? Their basic needs of live are not being fulfilled? How can God be so cruel even when i am sick and poorly i go out to work but i cant get any work, what a damned life. with no solutions but only more problems day by day! plse helpppp. advice.

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What a life? Like I have been posting on this website for a short time

I am completely broken within myself! Since loosing my wife 4 months ago aged 41, I cannot see any purpose of my life! I am trying very very hard to talk to people, go to the Gurudwara everyday, do sewa, listen to kirtan and do naam simran. When i go to the Gurudwara and i hear some shabads my heart is filled up and i cry like a little boy asking for chocolates! and for the longing for my pritam, and what is happening in my life. Nothing is close to getting corrected in my life, my job, expenses, house, kids needs and demands. I am still so upset with life i just wished I was dead too. People i thought were my family have turned their backs to me and my wifes relatives think i did something to her that she got this dreaded disease called cancer! How can i live in Gods name when my children in front of my eyes are not happy? Their basic needs of live are not being fulfilled? How can God be so cruel even when i am sick and poorly i go out to work but i cant get any work, what a damned life. with no solutions but only more problems day by day! plse helpppp. advice.

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What a life? Like I have been posting on this website for a short time

I am completely broken within myself! Since loosing my wife 4 months ago aged 41, I cannot see any purpose of my life! I am trying very very hard to talk to people, go to the Gurudwara everyday, do sewa, listen to kirtan and do naam simran. When i go to the Gurudwara and i hear some shabads my heart is filled up and i cry like a little boy asking for chocolates! and for the longing for my pritam, and what is happening in my life. Nothing is close to getting corrected in my life, my job, expenses, house, kids needs and demands. I am still so upset with life i just wished I was dead too. People i thought were my family have turned their backs to me and my wifes relatives think i did something to her that she got this dreaded disease called cancer! How can i live in Gods name when my children in front of my eyes are not happy? Their basic needs of live are not being fulfilled? How can God be so cruel even when i am sick and poorly i go out to work but i cant get any work, what a damned life. with no solutions but only more problems day by day! plse helpppp. advice.