Arranged Marriage and Caste

In 2006 when I was thirteen years old, my mother and I were living in Ludhiana, India due to her managerial job with a multinational company. My mother was still recovering from the shock of losing her late husband (my father) due to a brain aneurism that killed him the year prior, and as a result of his death my mother accepted a transfer in her company to go to India for a few years in which she took me with her. During the first few months living in Ludhiana, my mother fell head over heels with a 32 year old Sikh handsome clean shaven Sikh named Rashpal Singh. My mother was deeply in love with Rashpal and that love was reciprocated (Rashpal married my mother anyway in a civil ceremony). However, a few weeks later during a trip back to Canada to visit my grandmother by myself who was terminally ill, I was told that my mother and Rashpal Singh passed were killed in a freak car accident. I was absolutely devastated and worried about the future at the same time as my grandmother was the only living relative I had. A few days later, my grandmother passed away leaving me completely heartbroken and distraught. After a few months of living in a foster care home I was visited by a Social Worker who came to tell me that Rashpal Singh’s parents officially adopted me and they were in Canada to take me back to India. During the plane trip to India I learnt that Raspal Singh was completely disowned by his parents when he was 19 years old for cutting his Kesh and the true reason they decided to adopt me was to have a son to take over their business when they got very old and to care for them in old age. Raspal’s parent’s names are Aanand Singh Nanda and Manat Kaur Nanda and they were well off since they owned several business in Ludhiana, also they are very strict Amritdhari Khatri Sikhs. Adjusting to a new language and culture was hard enough but the biggest culture shock was being taken to the quarterly samagam held at the Gurdwara Sahib Brahm Bunga in Dodra beginning the next day after I arrived in India and returning home as an Amritdari Sikh wearing a Patiala Shahi Pagg Turban.

Today I am twenty-three years old and I still live with my adoptive parents Aanand Singh and Manat Kaur. At first I was upset at having to never being allowed to cut my hair and having to wear a turban all the time but when I gradually learnt how to read Gurmukhi and Speak Punjabi fluently and understand the Banis that I recite every day, I am quite happy and content being a fully bearded turbaned Amritdhari Sikh and I have a great job working for my adoptive father as a manager at his various businesses. Even then, I am unhappy about one thing, I am not ... (more)