This is a really great question. Thanks so much for asking it!
Let's start by looking at a few tuks from Gurbani:
ANG 95 - Guru Ram Das Ji "My Darling Beloved True Guru is my Protector. I am a helpless child—please cherish me."
ANG 103 - Guru Arjan Dev Ji (Toon mera pita...) "You are my Protector everywhere; why should I feel any fear or anxiety?"
ANG 105 - Guru Arjan Dev Ji "The One to whom we belong cherishes and nurtures us. The Supreme Lord God has become our Protector.
ANG 177 - Guru Arjan Dev Ji "I have renounced clever tricks, power and intellectual corruption. God is the Protector of His servant." (daas apnay kee raakhanhaar.)
What is the Guru saying? He is saying that when we surrender completely, when we give our head (our ego) and give up all scheming, planning, manipulating and desiring, that THEN we have a constant awareness at every moment that the Guru is arranging all our affairs. This is exactly what Guru Nanak Dev Ji means in the very first pauri of Japji Sahib: Hukam rajaa-ee chalnaa naanak likhi-aa naal. To walk in Waheguru's hukam. To live in God's will means to surrender. The "manai" pauris of Japji Sahib (pauris 13, 14 and 15) are all about that. In these pauris Guru Ji describes exactly what happens when you surrender.
Everything that happens to us happens in His hukam. It's just that our karmas must be paid. We created them and we pay them - until our account is cleared (which usually takes many lifetimes.)
With karma there is no dharma and with dharma there is no karma - the account is erased.
When heavy stuff happens, it's just a lesson. The universe is a university and we must do our lessons. If we fail to learn the lesson, the lesson is repeated until we "get it." At the point that we completely and totally surrender to the Guru, then EVERYTHING that happens to us is sweet. "Jo tudh bhaavai so bhalaa tayrai bhaanai kaaraj raas." "Whatever is pleasing to Your Will is good; by Your Sweet Will all my affairs are arranged." (ANG 431)
So how you experience it is all about point of view. You said, "...that sense of safety was broken by something happening in my life..." but there is no such thing as safety. It's not about safety. Nothing will give you safety. It's about TRUST. Trust isn't blind faith. It comes from experiencing that it's ALL okay, all the time. That doesn't mean you don't act and just float downstream letting things happen to you. It means that you understand at each moment exactly what action is required of you and you know when to act and when not to act.
This is what it means to give your head to the Guru.
