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I'm in love with married singh men!

asked 2016-02-07 03:02:16 -0500

Just me gravatar image

Thanks for reading.. Hopefully some one can help me!

So last year I met a guy at work it was attraction at first glance. We talk alot for a full month, then started datting I learn from him he is a Singh. He told he was single, and I believe him cause he respected me alot.. Months passed and we started having a sexual relationship.. I got pregnant but for God's will I lost my baby... Then one day after 6 months of a relationship, surprise I discover he was married and had two kids!! I has shocked and heart broken.. But he explained to me he was in an arranged marriage and he didn't love the wife, he said he loved me but he couldn't leave his kids or her, and I agree I didn't wanted to brake his marriage. I try to leave him but it has been so hard I truedly love him with all my heart! He is all I think all day, I have been depress sense.. The thing is we just talk and he straight forward has told me these..... Baby I love you and I wish I had met you 5 years ago you are all I ever wanted and I have always looked for, I wanna write to God and ask him why he has send you to me so late if he had brought you before you would've carried my last name by now, I love you so much but I love my kids too and I can't leave them, but I want you by me always please don't leave me. You are the love of my life please understand! I can't live without you and also I can't hurt my wife..I only ask you to understand me. I need you in my life.

I have cryed my self to sleep thinking about what to answer him.. It hurt me alot he lie to me but I'm in love with him. I feel empty with out him, worthless!

Please advise me on what to do and tell him when he comes for my answer! I have thought about his wife and kids but what about me?? I love my Singh baby!!

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answered 2016-02-07 13:58:18 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

I know you said that he respected you a lot, but he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t respect you because he didn’t tell you he was married, he doesn’t respect you because he had sex with you and got you pregnant before you were married, and he isn’t respecting his wife or his children. I don’t even know if he was honest enough to tell you himself it was married, from what you wrote it sounds like you found out yourself. Regardless, even though you didn’t know at the beginning of the relationship, you know now. Your conscience is telling you what to do- you know what is the right thing here. None of his actions have represented what a Sikh should be doing- you can do better. You deserve better, and you need to believe that. He wants to be with you for the rest of his life all the while still being married to his wife?!! That sounds terrible. You don’t deserve that. SHE doesn’t deserve that. Their kids don't deserve that. I know its really hard to see this because there is so much emotion involved and the logical side of your brain has shut down, but the answer here is simple. His response that he can’t hurt his wife is ridiculous because he is hurting her constantly by being with you. He is lying to her constantly. He has roped you in with the illusion of respect and love. You have the power to say no, I don’t need a man who doesn’t act like a Singh at all, who lied to me and is cheating on his wife, and who doesn’t respect me. You have the power to say, I deserve respect. I deserve someone willing to commit to me. You are not worthless, you are daughter of God, you have an amazing soul within you. Do ardaas and go and tell him you deserve better- he knew what he was doing when he got in a relationship with you. God will help you do that. Its going to take some time to heal. Underneath all the dirt he threw on you, you are gold. The feelings of worthlessness come from being dependent on him. If you look at this carefully in retrospect you may even see the ways that he tried to make you feel like you need him and are nothing without him. Until you are happy with yourself the way you are, you are always going to look to someone else to complete you. I know you don’t want to hear it but this is lust, not love and you need to treat it as such. Its important to cut off all contact if possible (I know he works with you) after you break up with him- no texting or staying friends because he will try to lure you into this trap again. May you have the ... (more)

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answered 2016-02-07 17:58:36 -0500

anon gravatar image

as a woman I can understand these issues stem from women and their need to be loved by men. someone tells you sweet words and you wanna believe it,. but self respect is way more important than someone making you feel loved.

he kind of used you, and will keep using you, until you can't take it anymore.

either he will leave his wife, or be with u (after a lot of drama!), but whats the guarantee that he won't leave you. if he can cheat on his wife, he can definitely cheat on u ..

just move on from him.

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Asked: 2016-02-07 03:02:16 -0500

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Last updated: Feb 07 '16