Can i re-take amrit?

At the age of 9, I was dumb enough to go sit down and take amrit without even knowing anything about it, after I had taken amrit, no one told me about it or even thought me anything to do with sikhi, I was just brought in to this by mistake because i just sat down by my Grand father who was re taking amrit....therefore they just let me in.

After time continued, I did stupid thing like: Not doing paath, simran or anything. As I was young, I wanted to go and play with my friends and hang out and stuff. But one day, I went to a trip with my school for three days and I was about to have lunch. I accidentally ate meat because I didnt know what was in the food....it looked vegetarian at first, but I was soon told by a friend of what it was made by.

Therefore I was in deep stress, I didnt know what to do, I had thought I couldnt connect with the guru anymore and I'm no longer going to be considered a sikh. Guess what happened next? My stupid younger self thought it was ok to continue eting meat because my amrit was 'already broken'. Therefore I ate meat. But as a few months passed, I had stopped because I had realised the importance of life and why i should not eat meat....so i stopped.

But still believing that my amrit was broken, I continued to mess my life up by doing other bad things. Also lustful things.

All these things are what I had done at the age of 9 - 12.....but now I am 15 and have learned alot about sikhi and also learned gurmukhi in order for me to read paath in the future so i could connect with my guru. I now want to make a commitment to learn all the meanings of paath and gurbani, do lots of meditation on waheguru and not waste this life what has been given to me because it is very rare and precious.

I hope that, when time comes, i will be spiritually strong enough to re connect with my guru and be accepted to sikhi once again. I hope that one day I can re-take my amrit and become part of the Khalsa panth and not make those stupid mistakes what my past self had done.

People keep saying that I will not be accepted by the guru anymore and that i'm gonna go to hell and not be a sikh anymore. I don't believe this because I am making a strong commitment into getting back with my guru and I have full trust in waheguru.

What if i got rid of ego, lust, attachment pride etc and got so spiritually strong that I got to a sant's level or even braham giani, will i be able to be accepted into sikhi then?

kabeer maanas janam dulambh hai ... (more)