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marriage issues

asked 2015-06-15 12:57:14 -0600

Beloved princess of god gravatar image

updated 2018-09-05 10:27:31 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh.. i am a sikh girl ( just crossed 25)... It has been three years now that my parents are looking for my life partner..but i am not able to take the decision yet that whom should i choose as my life partner...i dont know y bt something inside me stops me from getting married...evry one in my locality has started taunting my parents regarding my age ...even my brother and father are cursing me for this ...evryday they speak harsh words to me... Evrytime my bro says what am i going to do if something happens to my mother or father...u will not find a good boy if u delay it anymore...and much more like this ...

After being hurted and having cried so much i gave up and went to two pandits who after looking at the destiny lines of my hands said that i will be getting married at the age of 27...i dnt know whether i should believe him or not...bt still i am very upset about the words that people say to me and my parents about me ..

nw i have started a sehej path from sri guru granth sahib ji..bt still in fear whether doing this path will help me or not...as this is my last hope..that babaji will help me make up my mind for marriage...need suggestions if i am wrong anywhere for not being able to decide...?? Or all this is pre destined by waheguru ji ?? Feeling like life has become hell than i cud ever imagine :(

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answered 2015-06-15 14:55:31 -0600

gn gravatar image

updated 2018-09-05 10:31:13 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

This is one thing I dislike about Punjabi/Indian culture, if a sister or brother isn't ready to get married they should just back off for a bit, until You are ready. Your going to spend your life with him the rest of your life so why start off on a shaky foundation.

Your the daughter of Guru Gobind Singh Ji Mahraj. You don't need pandits guessing when you get married, its only going to happen when Waheguru Ji desires it to happen. So best thing to do is do Ardaas and take a Hukamnama for Guru Sahib Ji. Watch this video.

If You are ready to get married: - Sikhnet have a matrimonial service - Check this one out for any questions about marriage you can ask them there as well as here.

Thats amazing you started a sehaj path. But your worried if it will help or not. You need to get rid of this doubt and of course it will help no one in this world is more powerful than our Gurus.

Take a Hukam from Guru Ji, if you need help with this the Sikh Rehat Mayrada says

For taking the command (Hukam), the hymn that is continuing on the top of the left page must be read from the beginning. If the hymn begins on the previous page, turn over the page and read the whole hymn from the beginning to the end. If the scriptural composition that is continuing on the top of the left hand page is a var (ode), then start from the first of the slokas preceding the pauri and read upto the end of the pauri. Conclude the reading at the end of the hymn with the line in which the name ‘Nanak’ occurs.

Also the Sikh Rehat Maryada says

When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites.

Also check these out will help: - Sikh Rehat Maryada
- Basics of Sikhi video also do search YouTube for basics of sikhi and marriage.

Please watch the video will help its relevant to your problem

So after you take Hukam, whatever the decision do Ardaas and carry on with life.

Please forgive me if i said anything wrong or offensive. And if you have any further questions just reply back on here.

Also do check out the Rehat Maryada to see advice on doing Sehaj Path. Hope you remain in Chardi Kala and Guru Sahib destroys your problems.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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Thaank u soo much...ur words relieved me a lot... Now i am really afraid...as once the time passes it never returns ...and as people say that if you delay or u cross the age limit u will not get good options They say that i am responsible for not getting married if i simply say yes to a person ...everything will be ok....but wherever i say yes there is a negative response from other side and vice versa ....i dnt know what should i do....as i have a lot of pressure regarding age

Beloved princess of god gravatar imageBeloved princess of god ( 2016-12-23 12:39:33 -0600 )edit
gn gravatar imagegn ( 2016-12-24 12:34:07 -0600 )edit

Now i have crossed 27...i asked this one and a half year ago....bt nothing has changed yet :(

Beloved princess of god gravatar imageBeloved princess of god ( 2016-12-24 13:10:38 -0600 )edit

You still have plenty of time, what you need to do is find some who is right for you and that shouldn't be a quick decision as your going to spend the rest of your life with him.

gn gravatar imagegn ( 2016-12-24 14:18:40 -0600 )edit

Have you tried Sikh matrimonial sites ?

gn gravatar imagegn ( 2016-12-24 14:19:07 -0600 )edit
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answered 2015-07-07 12:41:54 -0600

GRai gravatar image

updated 2015-07-07 13:27:57 -0600

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

Gurbani helps with everything in life. As now you are doing Sehaj path, take full advantage of Gurbani. Please do not just read through Guru Granth Sahib. Try to understand the meaning, try to understand what is written in Guru Granth sahib and relate it to your life. It will make more sense if we do Sehaj path from a Steek (Hard or soft copy of Guru Granth Sahib with meaning to words and lines). Find someone with whom you can discuss Gurbani. Read blogs, sites, discussion threads, articles, sikh history. Listen to katha. Never be afraid to put you thoughts in words while discussing Gurbani and be open minded. This will help you see your life from a different perspective. Gurbani will help you develop your internal being and will make you strong. And rest depends on your willingness and priorities.

Although your question is specific to marriage issues but to me it feels more like lack of empowerment. This is your life and if you want to make your own decisions you have to develop the courage to do so. Become independent and have the courage to carry your own burden. It all depends on you that what you want in and from your life.

Being a girl I also face societal issues and we all struggle to make a right decision. If our intentions are true , Waheguru is always there for us. however our prayers might not be answered in the way we want (And hardships do not mean that God is not helping us, they are way to discover better). And remember criticism follow us throughout our life no matter what we do. It is all up to us that what we want to take out from that criticism.

People will influence you and your decisons if you let them to. You will hear all kind of different advise and answers throughout your life and it is all up to you that what you want to do.

If any of my words appear inappropriate, I apologize for that. I am open to further discussion.

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Thaank u for ur precious advice ji....but i am a teacher by profession....and i left my job recently just bcz of this stress ....... And Now i am really afraid...as once the time passes it never returns ...and as people say that if you delay or u cross the age limit u will not get good options

Beloved princess of god gravatar imageBeloved princess of god ( 2016-12-23 12:42:39 -0600 )edit

They say that i am responsible for not getting married if i simply say yes to a person ...everything will be ok....but wherever i say yes there is a negative response from other side and vice versa ....i dnt know what should i do....as i have a lot of pressure regarding age

Beloved princess of god gravatar imageBeloved princess of god ( 2016-12-23 13:33:21 -0600 )edit

I cannot login Sikh sangat.judt telling

Amandeep007 gravatar imageAmandeep007 ( 2018-06-28 09:11:06 -0600 )edit
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answered 2018-09-06 01:24:35 -0600

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

Please see the positive result of the pressure given by parents and others, you starts doing sehaj path, its mean guru ji wants you in a correct path. I know that you faced a difficult phase of your life when everyone pressurize you to get married. But be faith in waheguru sahib. Do path regularly it strengthen you from inside. You get married after a certain period of time, it doesn't mean that you spoil your life and time now. Try to ignore everything. If anyone says or deals with you wrongly, don't reply - keep yourself calm and move from that place for sometime.

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Asked: 2015-06-15 12:57:14 -0600

Seen: 3,485 times

Last updated: Sep 06