should i marry?

answered 2014-12-29 15:03:14 -0500

Cloud
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This is going to be a very long post so warning of wall of text.

Okay so I was flirting with one of my friends and my dad found out , he isn't my boyfriend. we are just friends.

Ouch! Yeah, he wants you to get married before you soil your family's reputation.

Now my dad wants to fix my rishta with any guy he finds .But I want to study first and then get married.

I'm a medical student myself, altough far from finished and I'm at your age (25). My guess is that you want to specialise. But in your parents mind they can't wait longer then 25, now that you got your degree you can "watch out for yourself" with your new husbands family.

What should I do? Should I marry and then take a divorce or commit suicide?

Whoa! I've been in your situation as well with similair thoughts. Altough I would recommend that you should talk to http://www.sikhhelpline.com/contact/ or any other Suicide Hotlines in your local area.

See here for question the I asked in the same forum. http://fateh.sikhnet.com/sikhnet/youth.nsf/by+Date/02e98dad83f04c8687257852008389d2!Open As you can see in this question I was very confused and my whole experiance was a culture clash for me personally.

What should you do? Let's see what answers I got from my question. This is what I think.

Try talking to your parents again: You may think thier mind is set and that your parents are pressured by your parents relatives but also you may believe that at the same time your parents wishes your marriage with a random guy yourself. Just try again, you won't loose anything on it. Use my example and everything you will learn in this post and maybe you can change thier minds somewhat.

Rather than be emotional and reactive...be very calm and clear and discuss this issue together. Tell them to be calm and practical and patient especially when you can be patient yourself. This is their pressuring you.

Speak to your Giani:

Speak to your Grandparents

Speak to your school counselor

At least try to speak to them. In some cases it's the grandparents that want's you to get married. But in most cases they get the last say in these situations. Please try to speak with them, you won't loose anything on it.

You should not be trapped.

You are not trapped.

Stop worrying about marriage and just say NO way. Thank you very much but this is NOT for me.

In your situation it's hard to remember what sikhi marriage and relationship is all about.