new sikh need guidance

waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji ki Fateh,

I really feel for you, and am saddened to know that you are having a hard time trying to establish your identity due to the choices your mother has made. However, trust me this is the beginning of the most beautiful journey you will experience in your whole lifetime, and I sincerely congratulate you for making a decision to walk this path, and you won't ever look back :) Before saying anything else I do not want to dishearten you but just want to let you know that this path is described to be khanneo tikhi valo nikki in other words sharper than a khanda (double edged sword) and finer than a hair. I guess what I am trying to say is that yes this path is difficult and at some points in time you will find it hard, however it is the same for anyone embarking this spiritual journey and good things in life are always hard to do. Anyway, the khalsa panth is always there to support each other, so I am sure that you will find someone who can understand you...whether it is another sikh friend or God himself :)

Now to the nitty gritty of this all! Speaking as an amritdhari teenager myself the first thing I would say is learn about Sikh history and its background/beliefs. You should do this by reading saakhis (historical stories, watching videos on youtube or even going to the Gurudwara (which can be hard since you probably won't be able to go unless your mum lets you). In order to embrace Sikhi you need to learn to love, you need to be able to feel the pain when a fellow Sikh has been hurt or when you hear of the downfall of Sikhs in Punjab. So I guess the main point here is create a beautiful bond between yourself and Sikhi... that will get you EXTREMELY far and will motivate you to do things. So again in order to do this you need knowledge first.

Aside from this you also need to have a strong connection with Punjabi which is our mother tongue. This is because this is the only way you will able to read and understand Gurbani as well as pray (although you can get translations in English, however its not the same thing). You can learn Punjabi through the internet, going to the local gurudwara and talking to the elderly or maybe even ask your mum to speak Punjabi with you while your at home!

After a strong connection grows between you and Sikh (and Punjabi) it will be very easy for you to live the Sikh lifestyle and you may even want to become amritdhari (a baptised Sikh). Although there are many obstacles on this path, you will be successful because if there is a will there is a way, and the biggest thing is that you have God on your side!

The last thing I ... (more)