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asked 2013-10-21 15:34:58 -0500
I am a Sikh guy from Delhi. I want to ask a question about Sikh girls, virginity and sex before marriage. But first, I want to tell you about what has driven me to come here and ask this question.
I used to like a girl in the final year of my school. She used to like me too. We used to blush a lot while talking to each other and We used to talk to each other a lot. We told each other about our feelings and felt good about it. Later we went to different colleges. One day there was a cultural event in her college, I came to know of it from my friends in that college, and thought I should surprise her. I went there with my friends and saw her with some other guy, dancing, laughing and having her fun. I felt awkard and bad seeing that but I tried to ignore having seen what I had seen. When I asked my friends about that guy, they said he was her guy, and they had seen them making out quite a few times. I couldnt believe it. She used to say she liked me, loved me, wanted to be with me. I was heart broken. I spoke to her about it and she confessed to it. I stopped talking to her. That teenage love ended then and there. I was depressed for a very long period of time.
After 1.5 years I came across a girl through a mutual friend. She was amritdhari, looked kinda cute and had approached me herself. I started to like her company. She was studying at a college in Gurgaon. After some time of our friendship we both felt attracted towards each other. But she had bad company, had ONLY guy friends, used to go with em to hookah bars, pubs and all other kinda wrong places. I myself am an amritdhari and i personally do not like going to any such places as I feel that Sikhs must not go to these kinda places. (Kutha, hukkah, charas, tambaku, ganja , topi, taadi, khaaku.. inki ore na kabahuu dekhai rehetvand so sikh bisekhai) ... also came to know about her alleged physical relationships with many of her friends. So, we broke up. And I was shaken up again.
After another year of staying depressed and aloof, I came across one extremely amazing girl. She looked very decent and adorable and belonged to an amrirdhari family. Her mom ties dastar, her dad is a great man and knows a lot about gurbani and sends amazing vibes whenever you look at him. But she has had a past too and has been with 2 guys, both of them were hindus and "bihari" and i came to know from a friend who was there in her college that she has done "it" many a times with her guys and there were several pics of her floating around.
Now, By the Guru's grace, I am a Six feet tall, somewhat buffy, fair, pochviin pagg tying, amritdhari Sikh guy and I get plenty of compliments and attention from the opposite sex. I have completed 5 years of my college life at two of the most happening colleges in delhi and have had plenty of chances myself to be 'up, close and personal' with the most adored girls in my colleges. But I have made sure to not to commit any of the four 'kurehits' all these years. I consider any kind of physical intimacy as something sacred which must occur between two people who are life partners and not a mere source of pleasure which can be done with anybody. Thus, I am still a virgin. Yes, 24, male and still a virgin. And yes, I will get married sooner or later. As anybody would, I too want a Sikh girl of good morals and a high character to be my life partner, Someone who knows Sikhi values to the core, hasnt fooled around with guys and of course has her virginity intact. But seeing the current state of Sikh girls (encountering those 3 in my life, seeing Sikh girls in my college and hearing about them from my friends), Seeing all this, I have developed a negative image for girls in my mind and i do not even feel comfortable talking to them. I dont think there are many left who still stay virgin till they get married. Sometimes when sad and depressed, I feel like I should get even and feel like falling for the advances of girls around me. But when I get back to my senses I feel bad for even thinking that ways and I do not want to defy my Guru. I want a decent girl to be my life partner, bit it now seems a rare possibility. I am utterly disappointed and worried. Please help me out. I would like people who are married or in relationships and especially bibiyaan, matawan, bhainaa to please understand my problem and help me come out of it.
answered 2014-05-29 15:20:13 -0500Guruka Singh
Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!
So is your problem that you have a negative image of Sikh girls based on the experiences you have shared? Your life partner will be delivered to you by your Guru. Why do you not trust Him to take care of it? You are His son. He will arrange your affairs. Do not judge the girls. Everyone has their own karmas that must be paid and their own lessons to learn. Just make yourself so loving, so solid, so graceful and so devoted in your own being and your own consciousness that your frequency will attract the girl of that same frequency. Just work on yourself and leave the rest in Guru Ji's hands. It is not a girl's virginity or lack thereof that is the real issue. It is the girl's calibre and values that matter. The rest is only your mind judging.
Asked: 2013-10-21 15:34:58 -0500
Seen: 4,429 times
Last updated: May 29 '14