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asked 2013-08-30 21:36:26 -0500

Bikaram Singh gravatar image

Gurfateh,

I started dating a girl, who absolutely changed me and pretty much made me lose my Sikhi roots and values. With time passing I realized how I lost my identity. So I broke up with her, but the problem is that I am not fully over her.

My question is "how do I get over her and continue on my path towards Sikhi?"

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answered 2013-08-30 22:14:31 -0500

WarriorsWill gravatar image

Dear Bikaram,

You’re truly blessed to have the conscious to realize you were moving away from the Guru, be grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow without any serious implications. It’s natural to development attachment to a person you were very once familiar with. Considering your situation, you should first deeply ask yourself “Do I truly wish to get over her?” If you truthfully do wish to overcome your attachment to her, your Ardas to Guru Ji requesting the strength and blessing will surely be fulfilled. Your mind is going to constantly be fickle and try to convey you that you need her around etc. You must restrain it, don’t fall in the trap, keep concentrating on Guru Ji whenever the thought of loneliness arises or if you miss her. Try to keep yourself busy by doing extra circular stuff or spending more time with family, friends or any activity that engages your mind. Eliminate any picture, email, text, clothing etc. that reminds you of her, avoid seclusion in the beginning phases to help keeping the mind active and not idle. Practice Naam Simran and reciting Gurbani daily, vigilantly don’t allow the mind to think about her, as soon as the thought arises, replace it with Guru Ji. You might feel emotional at times or even get anxious but don’t worry keep your will strong, develop strong will power to destroy this attachment, be positive, read about the Guru’s, as you think, so will you become, it will all pass, keep faith and trust in Guru Ji. This is all easier said than done, but this is a gift from Guru Ji to grow your conscious higher, be thankful. You will persevere, don’t give up, don’t lose faith or trust in Guru Ji, even if you lose the battle a few times, win the war in your mind! Read the reply under the topic “Bad Thoughts” also, as it will be beneficial to you as well.

Please forgive me if I’ve said anything disrespectful,

Wishing you the best, Chardi Kala!

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answered 2013-08-31 02:30:59 -0500

ujwala gravatar image

Sat Nam!

I understand your problem. Guru will help you jio! Instead of obsessing over that girl, keep yourself busy with other things. Dont stop doing banis. They are the solution to every problem. Listening to kirtan most of the time can help. Kirtan refreshes your mind. Be in god's grace. Everything will be fine.

P.S. I hope this was helpful and an easy method to opt.

Blessings! Mansimran Kaur Khalsa

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answered 2013-08-31 03:52:33 -0500

kanwaljit.singh gravatar image

First of all stop complaining and realize your folly. It was your mistake you forgot your roots and went away from Sikhi. Don't blame other person. You are the actor in your own life. And only when you correct yourself, you can reconcile with Sikhi.

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Asked: 2013-08-30 21:36:26 -0500

Seen: 238 times

Last updated: Aug 31 '13