Keeping a distance

Dear Sister,

Your profile name is Kaurk2012 so I am going to assume that you are a girl and my little sister. Also, you did not provide a whole lot of background about your mom and your two family friends so that will make it a bit hard for me to give you advice, but I will try my best. I don't know if your mom and the two family friends have any past history together (most women who argue with each other are usually good friends first and later for one reason or the other become not so good friend!). I also don't know your age and the age of our family friends but if they argue with your mom, then I am going to assume that they are either as old as your mom or younger then her but older than you. I also don't know how old you are but I am again going to assume that you are above 16 years of age but less than 21.

Okay, with all that assumption, I am now going to give you my advice that may or may not be the best advice you can get here!

If your family friends and your mom argue and you want to hang out with them both then here is what your options are:

You can hang out with them separately. I know, this is not the "answer" you were looking for but in life its easier to change yourself or your behaviors then to change others! Think of the last time your mom told you to do something that she does not like? Did you change right away? Hell no! You probably still do that thing that she told you not to do. Its not rocket science, it's human nature. We human beings don't like to be told what to do? We want to make our own decisions even if they are the wrong ones. So, don't try to "solve their issues with each other" because you won't be able to. Try to solve your issue of spending time with them both by hanging out with them separately.

I am not a big fan of avoiding people because you never know what you may learn from one person that could have taken you years to learn the hard way! So, I would first try the above before giving up on them and avoiding the people who are so near and dear to your heart.

Adults, especially Punjabi families are very aggressive. We will argue and debate every little unimportant thing just to make our point. We care less about listening and more about telling others what we think (case in point, what I am doing right now!).

So, don't let their issues become your issue. Our Guru (Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj) does not want us to avoid good people. In fact, Guru ji wants us to always surround ourselves with good company ... (more)