Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fathe.
Ok first of all. It is really sad that only 2 months into being an amritdhari you took alcohol again. You need to think before you actully take amrit are you really committed or are you going to break that amrit within 2 months.
My father told me how he beacme a sikh. He said that he respected Sikhi but wasn't a Sikh himself. He used to trim his beard but he did wear a Pagg. As far as I know he never drank alcohol. you know why, even though he wasn't an amritdhari Singh he still wore a turban and so therefore he had a responsibility to the Sikh Panth to not drink, smoke and other stuff.
He met these wonderful Singhs and well he was inspired by them. So before taking amrit he knew he had to break his habits of trimming his beard and actully learn how to do Nitnem and other Bania. He also eventually learnt how read bani within Guru Granth Sahib Ji. and he also did ardass to akal purakh to keep him healthy and alive for one year. and within that year my father transformed himself and then he took amrit and since then he is very strict with the Sikh Rehat Maryada and his own rehat.
But ultimately what i'm trying o say is that you need to make a commitment to Sikhi before you even make the commitment of Khalsa. You need to first actually look like a Singh/Kaur and act like a Singh/Kaur and be respectful like a Singh/Kaur etc. before you take amrit and give your head to the guru and actually become a real Singh/Kaur. Singh/Kaur is a title you are given when you become part of the Khalsa not a last name you are given from birth.
Don't give up, keep trying, believe in you guru and he will show you the way. But please make sure that you are committed and you will NEVER make this same mistake again before you take amrit and become a real Singh/Kaur.
I am really sorry for my mistakes and if I offended you
Bhul chook muaf karna Ji
Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fathe.
