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I is it bad if i stop talking to my brother because hes done drugs?

asked 2012-05-06 09:42:39 -0500

anonymous user

Anonymous

updated 2012-05-11 12:47:16 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Well I'm 16 and my older brother is 20 and hes been doing drugs and all my family and some relatives have been really upset and annoyed by it. My parents were thinking about kicking him out but they're not going to. So my grandma was like don't you want to call him your brother anymore and I said no because I don't think he will change he also went to the Gurdwara and said he won't do them again but he did. So is it really bad if I don't talk to him.. will people think bad of me especially ones who want a brother?

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answered 2012-05-07 18:39:05 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Your brother does not need your approval or disapproval. You cannot change him or "correct" him. He simply needs your love. Do not ignore or shun him. Do not try to punish him. He is going through his own experience. The Guru is teaching him in the way that that HE needs to learn. All you can do is love him and pray for him. Be very solid, neutral, nonjudgmental and loving to him. Keep your heart open. Your prayer is very powerful when it springs from that place.

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answered 2016-04-17 04:14:29 -0500

You can help me recover by giving him love and kindness and by supporting him. Convince him to stop and help him to recover by sending him to rehabilitation centre. Yes, pray to God that he will understand the terrible effects of drugs but when he does HELP him recover and get treatment. That is when you will be fulfilling your ardaas to god.

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answered 2016-04-17 05:01:07 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

I agree with the other posts. I know where your emotions are coming from though- it is understandable to be upset. You see your brother is going to get hurt (healthwise and in general), and you want to save him the pain that these drugs will and are doing to him. There’s probably broken trust, and you feel hurt that your brother would ever do this. What people think should not be your motivation here- some people will probably think bad of you, and others may not. But I want to say this- he needs love. He needs unconditional love. He needs to know that his family loves him no matter what. I bet you he feels bad about breaking that promise he made in the gurdwara too, even if he doesn’t admit it. He needs to know that you are there for him to help him through the ups and downs in life, and not just the choices that you approve of. He needs to know you will be there when he needs you, and he needs you now. Please don’t put conditions on that love. (I’m glad your parents didn’t kick him out. How is he going to support himself? It will send him further into the same trap and it will spiral worse, probably doing criminal activities to get money for rent or more drugs). Have you had a conversation where you talk to him about how this all started (and if it was something specific, helping him through that- example, if it was to relax, then finding other ways to achieve that), how is it affecting him, how can you support him/what does he need? Try to imagine what he is going through- everyone is upset with him, he is likely experiencing cravings, withdrawal symptoms (can be severe), etc. Try to help him find some resources. A doctor is a good place to start as they can usually recommend some programs (narcotics anonymous, rehab programs), or meds to help depending on the drugs he uses. They are trained to deal with this kind of stuff. You don’t want to create a situation in which his only support network is friends that do drugs. Now moving onto you, remember you need support too, and that may be in the form of talking to other people/family members/trusted people about how this has affected you and how you can manage the emotions and stress that come with it

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didn't realize that this post is so old! I hope that things are going better nowadays

strongKaur gravatar imagestrongKaur ( 2016-04-17 05:53:56 -0500 )edit
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answered 2018-10-09 13:26:00 -0500

needhelp gravatar image

In my opinion, you should help him. He needs help and love, not rejection.

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Asked: 2012-05-06 09:42:39 -0500

Seen: 2,747 times

Last updated: Oct 09