Seeing God within
A long time ago, I made a commitment to improve myself and just keep learning in order to heal from something painful and a dark period in my life. It was really great because it motivated me closer to God and I started doing regular prayers, understanding Gurbani, simran, helping others selflessly and working hard, and really just being who I always strived to be. I try to also care for my body. A week ago I realized that somewhere along this way, I have started to feel like nothing is enough. I originally was walking towards healing and I was happy within myself. Some stuff has happened over the last couple of weeks. Now I really feel like I am running from pain, that improving myself has become about not being happy with who I am. I think that being happy in yourself is about loving God within ourselves, and right now I am stuck. I am stuck on this thought: If I was doing enough, if I really had my heart in Gurbani and was living by my values, that I would not feel this much pain. We strive to be in a state where we are unaffected by the pains and pleasures of life, and overcomes the pull of maya. I feel like I am trying as much as I can and failing. I think I’m feeling pain because I’m not accepting God’s will. Instead of seeing it as God's will, i see events as a personal failing. I guess my question is how to break this thought. Secondly, how to rebuild that feeling that I’m enough, that God is within me and that i should be happy as who i am. I feel like i'm already trying to do the best i can and i want some advice.
Don't overthink about your failures just do Simran and follow guru's path . Whatever is happening let it happen . Just pray to God with trustworthy heart . Just believe him . Nothing is gonna happen bad . It happens that when we try a lot we get concious and start wondering if we are doing right .
But if you are trying then just don't overthink. Be happy that atleast you are trying ..we are humans and not are not perfect. We commit mistakes but babaji is there to forgive us . Just don't take stress and whenever u feel stressed for just one minute forget your worries and say waheguru and close
Close ur eyes and say waheguru as many times as u can .it will give you strength.