What to do about friendship

asked 2017-11-11 22:55:54 -0500

strongKaur
1688 ●51 ●63 ●80

I have an amritdhari friend I met a few months back, then he left to go to India. My family knows him well and they know we talk sometimes. I have no feelings for him whatsoever- I was simply looking for good sangat, and we talk about religion. I thought that was clear, but at the same time neither of us have said “veer ji or bhenji”. Now some of the things he has said is starting to make me think that maybe HE has feelings for me. I want to make it clear I'm not interested but I'm scared to hurt his feelings. I don’t know if I should just casually slip a “veer ji” into the conversation so he knows I think of him as a brother and not something more. But it feels awkward! Any suggestions? If i knew it was clear we are brother/sister then I dont mind talking to him but if he has any feelings, then I really am not comfortable with this.

answered 2017-11-11 23:51:59 -0500

infinite12
66 ●2 ●7 ●10

It is good to see that you had pure intentions towards him. If you feel he is showing some signs of interest, what in particular have you noticed? Sometimes it could be generally said as well, you may have thought of it differently. However, if the signs are clear and present, then I suggest you do try opening up more about it and telling him. This would be up to you to decide as you know him best but it would be greatly helpful for both of you. Try to include something really positive towards him as well that'll uplift him and make him feel happy and not down after you do reveal that truth. Best of luck :)

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that's part of the problem...it's so vague sometimes I feel like I'm imagining it. That's why i haven't said anyhting. He says stuff like "sweet dreams", calling my mother "mom". He calls my parents to talk to them, and asks about me but I haven't been home so he mentioned that a couple of times.

strongKaur ( 2017-11-12 00:55:23 -0500 )edit

does that count as clear? thanks for your advice. I haven't known him so long so it's hard for me to decide what to do. but i feel like waiting may make it worse if he does like me

strongKaur ( 2017-11-12 00:56:55 -0500 )edit

Those do seem to be signs of interest. May I ask which age group you particularly belong in? I agree with the last statement, you should definitely open up and discuss with him.

infinite12 ( 2017-11-12 01:28:09 -0500 )edit

The quicker the problem is solved, the less stressed you will be and on the other hand, the more time he'll save in a sense because if he is spending time overthinking or trying to impress it may not be the right person.

infinite12 ( 2017-11-12 01:30:08 -0500 )edit

that makes sense. thanks.

strongKaur ( 2017-11-12 16:52:28 -0500 )edit

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