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Waheguru Ji please help

asked 2017-09-13 06:34:16 -0500

Har gravatar image

Waheguru Ji please help. Am 40 years old I got married twice widow first then got married again after 10 years being alone. I have firm faith in Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.I was so happy when I met amritdhari Sikh and got marriage proposals from him.i am in Australia my whole family and my husband's family in India. Before we get marry he visited my family in India. There my family went to a astrologer with my husband, the astrologer was strongly against this marriage, he said it will never gona succeed. He talked me over the phone, but I said I don't believe in astrology as I believe only Shri Guru Granth Sahib . I got married 27 august2016. Since then I have visa problem.my husband started looking someone else. He already divorce And having 15 years old son with him.when my problem bit solved he started loving me. I found he is caring, kind man he does seva every Saturday Sunday in gurudwara sahib, and always helpful to needy person.i respect him love him can't live without him. Because of insecurity am in depression and he is talking to another girls for third marriage. Now I also want to get rid of this .. because he is not responsible doesn't know the meaning of marriage. He forgot the promise he did in front of Guru Granth Sahib Ji.but my problem are. 1. Am too much attached with this man, my heart broken twice. Don't want to live alone, not easy to marry again. 2. I got marriage against my family. Can't go back there . My father is no more. Brother don't like now. 3. My loosing faith in waheguru, because astrologer was right whom I never believed. 4. Am with him from two years, I stop communicating from my all friends. Now I have no one to talk. Feeling sick. I quit my job. Spending 18 hours with gurbani. ::: please support me , I want to out from this situation through gurbani only.i shared my story because I am feeling so alone, seeking emotional support.

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Hey! I just wanted to check up on you. How are you doing?

depressedvisionary gravatar imagedepressedvisionary ( 2017-09-19 19:52:05 -0500 )edit

Really appreciate for contacting me again. Have no words to say thanks. Am stuck can't move from his life. Always praying to waheguru fix everything thing. Want to see psychologist am I desperate, lonely depend upon him.why can't leave abusive realationship.

Har gravatar imageHar ( 2017-09-25 22:28:59 -0500 )edit

I can understand how you feel. I went through a mentally damaging relationship and am still trying to pick myself up. If you need someone to talk to, I can always send you my number. Just ask. And we can talk:)

depressedvisionary gravatar imagedepressedvisionary ( 2017-09-26 00:20:19 -0500 )edit

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa whageguru ji Ji Fateh. I really need some one to talk.

Har gravatar imageHar ( 2017-09-26 18:33:51 -0500 )edit

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answered 2017-09-13 14:15:20 -0500

gn gravatar image

updated 2017-09-13 14:17:45 -0500

Always remember that Guru Ji is with you and will always support you. Guru Ji also resides in the Sangat, so if you can find some Sangat that will always help. Alternatively you can share your feeling on sites like this, www.sikhsangat.com, www.reddit.com/r/Sikh.

Try contacting Sikhhelpine as well, although they are based in the UK, they might be able to help you http://sikhhelpline.com.

Try to communicate with you friends and get a job to take your mind off things. Try doing some hobbies you like and talk to your family.

Nobody can predict the future, when I was young my parents went to an astrologer as I was ill. Nothing he said came to be true and the only way I got out of it was through mool mantar.

So keep faith in Guru Ji and take your mind off of things by doing stuff you like, Guru Ji will solve all your problems.

This might help https://youtu.be/-r88J4bSk4I

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Thanks waheguru Ji for giving me your precious time . It is helpful as I emailed to Sikh helpline. They promised to get back me later.

Har gravatar imageHar ( 2017-09-15 20:16:00 -0500 )edit
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answered 2017-09-14 23:58:37 -0500

depressedvisionary gravatar image

Even though you believe in SGGSJ, I feel as if part of you also believed what the astrologer had said to you..And although you may deny it, it seems to be the case.

In Tav Parsad Saviye, it says:

Toorath Nhaan Daiaa Dam Daan Su Sanjam Nem Anek Bisekhai

Taking bath at holy places, excersing mercy, controlling passions, performing acts of charity and other rituals

Sroo Bhagwan Koo Bhaaekridaa Hoo Te Ek Rati Binu Ek Rati Ke

They are all worth nothing if you forget the name of the Lord...

A marriage (in SGGSJ) is a spiritual relationship. Its where two souls become one and follow the path of the Guru. I feel like kaam (lust) has taken over your husband and he also wants you to fulfill his "physical" needs as well. Take deep breaths. DO nitmen. Because its in Wahegururs hands. I know how you feel. My soulmate left me and he was a GOOD guy.

And remember:

usatat ninda nanak ji mai habh vanai shoria habh kijh tiagi .

I have totally discarded praise and slander, O Nanak; I have forsaken and abandoned everything.

habhe sak kurave dithe tau palai taidai lagi

I have seen that all relationships are false, and so I have grasped hold of the hem of Your robe, Lord.

I have been doing loads of path. And nothing helped as much as this shabad.

You feel this way because i dont think you love your self. And you live in fear because someone else has already left you before...You need to love yourself and cant be reliant on others for it...Everyone will leave one day. I wish I could tell you how to love youself, but even I haven't fully found a way. But i can tell you. Guru Ji loves you. And the day you make him your Lord Husband, the world will seem much brighter.

I wish you the best

Feel free to chat with me if you need someone:)

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answered 2018-08-09 07:56:35 -0500

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa.. Waheguru Ji Di Fateh..II

I am so surprised to see your query ... I have a same story , I am almost of same age like yours.. quite close to your situation but my situation is other way around..

My family has shifted to Australia .. I have 2 marriages ... I had some serious challenge in my personal life but my career shined massively after returning from Australia (after my academics) ... My first marriage was a disaster.... My 2nd wife is became non supportive, since I lost twice back to back in my career a. earlier I left professional high and opted for business and I got a set back due to my partners .. b. later I opted back a professional life... company I joined also siphoned off my pays and incentives.. I am yet to receive a year worth Salary + bonuses ..But company has promised but now claiming it has no money in banks...

My personal relation with current wife is ending up soon... have more or less come to a conclusion... I was close to her but things didnt work for me professionally has been a spoil sport as per her ... well, at this point things which are not working for me shouldn't be a reason for her to behave in drastically different way.. So I am left speechless and hurt..

Astrologers have give alot of feedback to me and I have been getting unnecessary advises from everywhere...

But I beleive in Waheguru Ji , who himself has decided what he wants to give or take from us..

I have planned to leave everything here as I got a hit in my professional career as well as personal losses ..

But trust me I have seen the things you cant control .. we should not keep running after those things ... God has given us an opportunity to give our best .... his is what we can only do ...I have left everything to Waheguru ji ..

If things are not working out for me ... If my 2nd marriage is also collapsed ( about to) .. then that means this was not meant for me ... yes I pushed this against my parents will but they have always blessed her and supported her....

Soche soch na hovai je sochi lakh var, chupe chup na hovai je lai raha liv tar, Bhukhia Bhukh na utari je Banna puria Bhar, sahas sianpa lakh hohi ta ik na chale nal, kiv sachiara hoiai kiv kurai tute pal, Hukam razai chalna Nanak likhiya nal ||

He knows whats in store for us...

God Bless You ! Regards

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Asked: 2017-09-13 06:34:16 -0500

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Last updated: Aug 09