Not able to marry a boy

answered 2017-02-10 21:57:23 -0500

strongKaur
1688 ●51 ●63 ●80

updated 2017-02-10 21:59:00 -0500

I’m so sorry this happened. Especially that his family waited two years to now say that they don’t want this, when they could have said it upfront. In Sikhism we do not believe in caste discrimination, period. If his family really believes in Sikhi then they simply wouldn’t say this. the sad reality is that a lot of families do. I am not surprised he is worn down by trying to fight his family on this and I’m sorry you are heartbroken now. It would be really hard even if you did end up marrying into their family because it sounds like they don’t want you there. It seems like you have settled on the decision to let go of this relationship. I can’t really advise you on how to move on- you are going to have to figure that out within yourself. A lot of people say time helps, and trying to focus on your relationship with yourself and God. It is painful and all you can do is really just surround yourself with support. It’s totally normal for you to not want to think about marrying anyone else right now. This is the person you imagined your future with for two years. That might change at some point, but you don’t need to think about that now. I don’t think you have to ask for maafi. Your intentions were to marry him and you didn’t for reasons beyond your control, you have nothing to be sorry about. Please reach out to family or friends for support- its not good to isolate oneself when you are depressed. Find a way to let out this sadness and slowly take that energy and transform it to find a way to make peace over time. Try to maintain care for your body at least- eat well, sleep well, exercise. Ramp up how much time you spend reading Gurbani and find comfort in it. Tell your mind not to despair...It’s going to be okay. Be patient with yourself.