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Not able to marry a boy

asked 2017-02-09 01:56:09 -0500

KaurJohar gravatar image

updated 2017-02-09 15:15:30 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

Waheguru ji, I liked a boy who is amrit dhari from 2 years and I am also amritdhari and are families were also aware about this, but now when its time to get married his family is taking step back by saying we both are not from same caste(his grandmother's sister is saying so) because of which we are not able to marry now and have to move on as we can't go against parents,have tried to convince them a lot , but now boy is convinced that it can't happen.Now I am not able to move on, can't marry some one else as we were so close to each other. I want to ask by doing so liking a boy and being close to him, Is my amrit khandit and shall I go for amrit paan again and ask for maafi as I was close to the boy before marriage and due to family reasons is not able to marry ? Please help me, I am feeling so depressed as I trusted with full faith on him but now, its not possible

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answered 2017-02-10 21:57:23 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

updated 2017-02-10 21:59:00 -0500

I’m so sorry this happened. Especially that his family waited two years to now say that they don’t want this, when they could have said it upfront. In Sikhism we do not believe in caste discrimination, period. If his family really believes in Sikhi then they simply wouldn’t say this. the sad reality is that a lot of families do. I am not surprised he is worn down by trying to fight his family on this and I’m sorry you are heartbroken now. It would be really hard even if you did end up marrying into their family because it sounds like they don’t want you there. It seems like you have settled on the decision to let go of this relationship. I can’t really advise you on how to move on- you are going to have to figure that out within yourself. A lot of people say time helps, and trying to focus on your relationship with yourself and God. It is painful and all you can do is really just surround yourself with support. It’s totally normal for you to not want to think about marrying anyone else right now. This is the person you imagined your future with for two years. That might change at some point, but you don’t need to think about that now. I don’t think you have to ask for maafi. Your intentions were to marry him and you didn’t for reasons beyond your control, you have nothing to be sorry about. Please reach out to family or friends for support- its not good to isolate oneself when you are depressed. Find a way to let out this sadness and slowly take that energy and transform it to find a way to make peace over time. Try to maintain care for your body at least- eat well, sleep well, exercise. Ramp up how much time you spend reading Gurbani and find comfort in it. Tell your mind not to despair...It’s going to be okay. Be patient with yourself.

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Asked: 2017-02-09 01:56:09 -0500

Seen: 73 times

Last updated: Feb 10