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Dear BlessedSoul I am sorry to hear about what has happened with your mother. I can’t imagine how stressful it must be for all of you! I hope she is doing okay. Please remember we are not responsible for other people’s actions- that was your mother’s action, not yours. You have a right to live your life how you want. I hope that she can get the help and support she needs to recover and deal with her anxiety and stress. I’m not really sure what to advise about your relationship with your mom…You have said she is agreeing to marriage but worried because she thinks you aren’t putting effort in your marriage. Why does she think that and what does not putting effort mean/did you discuss with with your mom.
Think about your options. You could get married. You could not get married. I am not sure what is going on in your situation, if your wedding date is set, whether you would be willing to marry despite his family’s objection, etc. I am not sure what advice you are looking for your marriage because as outsiders we cannot go and tell your bf’s family to let him marry you. All I can say is think about all the practical solutions and options you have available and make a decision based on what you value. Remember this: The goal of our life is to meet God. Our true marriage is the marriage of the soul to God. This supercedes this human life. When we do anand karaj, the laavan are actually about the journey of the soul in meeting her husband God. Focus on this relationship (with God). Your relationships with everyone else will get left behind. Spend less time focusing on those worldly relationships and tasks, and more time on simran and connecting to God inside yourself. The more you meditate on His name, the closer you will get to the state of mind where you will accept His Hukam and becoming desireless, leaving behind these worldly hopes, wishes, desires and worries. You do not have control over the future or the past, but you can use this moment to remember God. (If you are looking for method of doing simran go to mysimran.info). Only when we let go of our own desire, and accept that everything is due to past karma, and that it is according to God’s will, will we be content. That can only happen if we go to higher spiritual level by doing more simran. Accept that no matter what the outcome of your relationship, it is God’s will. Doing simran erases past bad karms, and by meeting God we are able to accept God’s will instead of our own plans for ourself. I empathize with your situation though and I know it would be devastating if you were not able to marry the person you love. My only piece of advice is do simran and tell your boyfriend to do it too.