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It's not an easy decision and let us also not decide for anybody.If someone wants to be a Guruwala/wali let her do it, to accept or reject is the Guru's job. Our Guru is fair and all merciful, once you are an amritdhari I believe he is the guardian of your amrit.So he shall take care that your spouse comes around or give you a separate life within that house.One step is yours and the rest the Guru takes or so I hope.