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Hey, it is actually really good to get some knowledge and inform yourself about these issues. They can be hard to talk about but it is better to get accurate information when other people (like friends) can just tend to spread myths, so good for you for asking. I work in healthcare so in my job I do education about the human body. The hymen doesn’t cover the whole vagina. It is this thin membrane on the outer ring. Some women may have a very thin membrane, some have one that covers more. Obviously because women bleed each month, most of the vaginal opening is open and allows for tampons to go in and that blood to come out for example. You aren’t actually “breaking” anything with your penis when you go in. So it should be pleasurable, and not painful for you. In fact, it should not be painful for your wife either! EVEN the first time and if you take it slow, should be none or minimal bleeding too. When things are too fast and the woman is not ready, then it will be both painful and cause bleeding for her because it tears and then it will probably be painful for her after. You want to avoid that so it can be enjoyable for you both. So take your time getting to know each others bodies before you just jump right in. If you want you can check out this video where this educator also explains some of the same things. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA