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I agree with Gn's comment. I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. Its good that you are financially independent because it means you have options to support yourself. It sounds like perhaps the finances is an issue because it’s the deeper issue of a man wanting to be the breadwinner and the supporter of his family. I am sure it is difficult for him to see you fulfill this role and perhaps makes him feel insecure. His abuse is simply unacceptable. He should not be controlling your finances, or your ability to visit your parents, etc. You are not responsible for fulfilling all of his wishes. Relationships are about working together and it sounds like he hasn’t been making much of an effort. I am saddened to hear that not only is he having an affair but continues this relationship and seems to want you to approve. I agree with you that it is unacceptable. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be. What he wants is sounds like to have a sexual relationship with this woman, but have you financially supporting him as his wife. I can’t tell you what to do, you have to decide what’s right for you. But consider your options of divorcing him, marriage counselling (working it out), temporarily separating (moving out) without divorcing and taking some time apart, and/or simply being firm on no tolerance to his relationship with her (either he’s with you, or he is divorcing you because he doesn’t get to have a girlfriend on the side… does this woman know that he’s married?). It’s better an open situation in front of your family than a hidden one I think, but that’s your decision to be made. You’ll want as much support as possible. In regards to her comment about suicide if he leaves her- It’s her choice what she does with her life and I mean she very well could be serious about it but that’s not your fault or issue and not his either. It’s your choice what you do with yours. Do what you think will be best for you and your son.

I agree with Gn's comment. I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. Its good that you are financially independent because it means you have options to support yourself. It sounds like perhaps the finances is an issue because it’s the deeper issue of a man wanting to be the breadwinner and the supporter of his family. I am sure it is difficult for him to see you fulfill this role and perhaps makes him feel insecure. His abuse is simply unacceptable. He should not be controlling your finances, or your ability to visit your parents, etc. You are not responsible for fulfilling all of his wishes. Relationships are about working together and it sounds like he hasn’t been making much of an effort. I am saddened to hear that not only is he having an affair but continues this relationship and seems to want you to approve. I agree with you that it is unacceptable. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be. What he wants is sounds like to have a sexual relationship with this woman, but have you financially supporting him as his wife. I can’t tell you what to do, you have to decide what’s right for you. But consider your options of divorcing him, marriage counselling (working it out), temporarily separating (moving out) without divorcing and taking some time apart, and/or simply being firm on no tolerance to his relationship with her (either he’s with you, or he is divorcing you because he doesn’t get to have a girlfriend on the side… does this woman know that he’s married?). It’s better an open situation in front of your family than a hidden one I think, but that’s your decision to be made. You’ll want as much support as possible. In regards to her comment about suicide if he leaves her- It’s her choice what she does with her life and I mean she very well could be serious about it but that’s not your fault or issue and not his either. It’s your choice what you do with yours. Do what you think will be best for you and your son.